1
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[Static]

2
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Senator Bob Dole says...

3
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trash TV is the beachhead
of controversy...

4
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infinity backs
shock jock Howard Stern...

5
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get this garbage
off the air...

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declined to comment on
the TV censorship issue...

7
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continues his attack
on TV talk shows...

8
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Howard Stern...

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take the trash out
of talk television...

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demeaning, exploitative,
perverted, divisive...

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What a great audience.
Welcome to the Show.

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I have a very unusual guest today.

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Cowboy Phil and his pig...

14
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Wild, weird, and wacky...

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He insisted that he
come dressed in drag.

16
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Why?

17
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As a woman, I am fierce!

18
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I don't believe this!

19
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We're discussing the problem
of nudity on television.

20
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They just got back from Las Vegas,

21
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and they lost their shirt.

22
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They lost their shirt.
Make them happy.

23
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What is going on?

24
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OK, ladies and gentlemen,

25
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the talk show host you love to hate...

26
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Wally Sparks!

27
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Meet... Wally... Sparks!

28
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[Cheering]

29
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[Chanting]
Wally! Wally! Wally!

30
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Hey, what a crowd!
What a crowd!

31
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I tell you, I'm all right now,

32
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but this morning I was
in rough shape, you know?

33
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Yeah, this morning I did
my pushups in the nude.

34
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I didn't see the mousetrap.

35
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Today I saved a girl
from being attacked.

36
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I changed my mind.

37
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Honey, if you are just joining
this show, sit down!

38
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Right now, folks, we're
going to start our show

39
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with a segment called
"It's hard to believe."

40
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Or as my ex-wife used to say,

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"I can't believe it's hard."

42
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What the hell does he think
he's doing out there?

43
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Come on, girl, hold still.

44
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One more complaint from the F.C.C.,

45
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and he's history.

46
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I mean, she was a wild girl...

47
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a very wild girl!

48
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Audience:
How wild, Wally?

49
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When she made me French toast,

50
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her tongue got caught
in the toaster!

51
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[Laughter]

52
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I mean, a wild girl!

53
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In fact, when I met her,

54
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she was doing pushups
in her cucumber garden.

55
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Hey, at least this isn't
<i>The Wally Sparks Show</i>.

56
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I'd like to have all the girls
Wally turned down.

57
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Yeah? I'd like to have all
the girls you turned over.

58
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Ha ha ha!
Oh!

59
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Our guests today all live far
beyond the borders of normalcy.

60
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Everybody,
I'd like you to meet...

61
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the man who has fallen in love
with the family dog...

62
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Harry Karp and Queenie.

63
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No wonder all the critics are saying

64
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talk shows are going to the dogs.

65
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How did all this happen?

66
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Last week he bought her this.

67
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A collar with 14 1-carat diamonds.

68
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In all the years
that we were married,

69
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he never bought me
anything like that!

70
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Well, honey, maybe you're
not doing the right tricks.

71
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What am I supposed to do,
sit up and beg?

72
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It's better than rolling
over and playing dead

73
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for the past 15 years.

74
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Oh, you're impossible!

75
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And he's says
you're being a dog, too.

76
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How long do you think

77
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that a relationship
like this will last?

78
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In dog years?

79
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Calmly and without swearing...

80
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I hope that little bitch
gives you rabies!

81
00:04:06,659 --> 00:04:09,326
I told you never to call her that!

82
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Please, folks, settle down!

83
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Aah!

84
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Please!

85
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Everybody calm down!

86
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No fighting!

87
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[Arf]

88
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Get her off me!

89
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Get a dog-catcher!

90
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Get the security guys.

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[Shouting]

92
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Not another fight!

93
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Ha ha ha!
Jeez, Wally!

94
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Wally Sparks?

95
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I'll tell you what I think
about Wally Sparks!

96
00:04:30,125 --> 00:04:32,125
Wally Sparks,
Wally Sparks...

97
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What do I think about Wally Sparks?

98
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Wally Sparks is a pain in the ass.

99
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Wally Sparks is still on TV?

100
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He's still alive?

101
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I thought those were just reruns.

102
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Siskel and Ebert caught my show.

103
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They gave me one finger up.

104
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He's a Has-Been! He's a Never-Was!
He's a Wannabe!

105
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He doesn't behave properly.

106
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Obnoxious, overbearing idiot.

107
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The only trouble is,
I'm sitting on top of the world,

108
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and I got hemorrhoids.

109
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I like him, though, actually.

110
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I've seen him in a bathrobe,
though.

111
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Wally Sparks is an idiot...

112
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and he's a lousy lay, too.

113
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I think men like that
should be locked up.

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Don't go away...

115
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We'll be right... back.

116
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Stay tuned...
when we come back...

117
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we're gonna teach you married men

118
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how to look at another woman's ass

119
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without your wife noticing it, OK?

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When we come back!

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[Applause]

122
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You know, folks, lately,
we're getting a lot of flak

123
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from some of our conservative
affiliates down South,

124
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especially in Atlanta.

125
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In fact, Governor Floyd Preston
of Georgia

126
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recently sent me a letter

127
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telling me what he thinks of the show.

128
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Here's the letter.

129
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Governor Preston says,
"As a devoted family man,"

130
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he feels that <i>The Wally Sparks Show</i>

131
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"defies conventional family morals."

132
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He says I'm not dignified

133
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and "not suitable for public consumption."

134
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Well, Governor Preston,
let me tell you this.

135
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I've been consumed
by the public many times,

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and once in a while,
even engulfed by some.

137
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And you talk about family dignity?

138
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Well, Governor, I looked up
your family tree,

139
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and 2 dogs were using it.

140
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Governor Preston's family's
always been mixed up.

141
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Why, in the Civil War,
his great-grandfather,

142
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he fought for the West.

143
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I hate that man.

144
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Now, Governor, don't you worry.

145
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I seriously doubt if
any of your supporters

146
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watch that trash,
and I'm quite sure

147
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it will not affect the vote.

148
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Damn! Harvey, I didn't write
that letter to get votes.

149
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I wrote it because as
a concerned father and husband,

150
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I do not want my family
or my state or my country

151
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affected by that
media hog Wally Sparks!

152
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I--I understand that, sir.

153
00:06:41,856 --> 00:06:42,890
[Telephone rings]
I'm simply saying--

154
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Hell! If I had my way,
the man would be banned

155
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from the Western
Hemisphere altogether.

156
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This is the Governor.

157
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Daddy?

158
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Baby doll!

159
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Daddy, I just wanted
to let you know

160
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that even though some of
these demented lowerclassmen

161
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think this Wally Sparks is funny,

162
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I find the man

163
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a complete and total abomination.

164
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[Chuckles]
Says Sparks is an abomination.

165
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And I'm proud that you
sent that letter

166
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to that dreadful man.

167
00:07:05,923 --> 00:07:07,490
If he can even read.

168
00:07:07,556 --> 00:07:08,923
[Chuckles]
Yeah. I don't know.

169
00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:11,424
Honey, I hope you know
how disappointed we all are

170
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:13,457
that you can't make it
down here for the big bash.

171
00:07:13,524 --> 00:07:15,689
Well, if I'm ever going to
fill that Governor's chair

172
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when you become Senator,
I'd better finish my thesis.

173
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By God, darling,
you're starting to sound

174
00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:21,723
like a politician already.

175
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I love you, daddy.

176
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You, too, baby doll.

177
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You come home as soon as you can,
now, you hear?

178
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Bye-bye.

179
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She says she's not entirely
sure Sparks can read.

180
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Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

181
00:07:34,223 --> 00:07:35,756
What you got there?

182
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,122
Um, well, sir--

183
00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:40,456
Floyd, Harvey, I thought you
gentlemen might like some tea.

184
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There you go.

185
00:07:41,622 --> 00:07:42,555
Thank you, Emily.

186
00:07:42,622 --> 00:07:43,588
Now, shall I pour?

187
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That would be lovely.

188
00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:45,588
No, thank you, dear.

189
00:07:45,655 --> 00:07:46,855
No, thank you, Mrs. Preston.

190
00:07:46,922 --> 00:07:48,389
Oh, well, all right, then.

191
00:07:48,456 --> 00:07:49,389
Governor,

192
00:07:49,456 --> 00:07:51,722
I'm afraid the polls are very bad.

193
00:07:51,789 --> 00:07:53,489
Oh, isn't that a shame?

194
00:07:53,555 --> 00:07:55,456
And they're such lovely people.

195
00:07:57,588 --> 00:07:59,089
I forgot the spoons.

196
00:07:59,156 --> 00:08:01,022
I'm going to run in
the kitchen and get them.

197
00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:02,655
No, dear, we'll be fine.

198
00:08:02,722 --> 00:08:03,989
Oh, but, darling,
how will you stir your tea?

199
00:08:04,056 --> 00:08:05,022
Thank you.

200
00:08:05,089 --> 00:08:06,389
I'll be leaving now.

201
00:08:06,456 --> 00:08:08,256
All right, if you gentlemen
need anything else, now,

202
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,423
you just feel free to call.

203
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,755
Thank you, Emily.

204
00:08:10,822 --> 00:08:12,922
Actually, we'd rather
not be disturbed.

205
00:08:14,655 --> 00:08:16,089
Oh, yes, of course.

206
00:08:16,156 --> 00:08:18,089
As you wish, Floyd.
As you wish.

207
00:08:18,156 --> 00:08:19,722
[Doors close]

208
00:08:19,789 --> 00:08:21,588
She's quite a woman, sir.

209
00:08:25,322 --> 00:08:27,588
In your next campaign spot,

210
00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:30,089
we want to portray the Prestons

211
00:08:30,156 --> 00:08:34,356
as your typical
normal American family.

212
00:08:39,022 --> 00:08:40,456
Now, the question is,

213
00:08:40,523 --> 00:08:42,922
can I eat this banana
and still be a gentleman?

214
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:44,188
What do you think, huh?

215
00:08:44,255 --> 00:08:45,888
Both:
I say go for it, Wally!

216
00:08:45,954 --> 00:08:46,888
Go!

217
00:08:46,954 --> 00:08:48,455
What's going on here?

218
00:08:48,522 --> 00:08:49,888
You boys realize what time--

219
00:08:49,954 --> 00:08:51,288
How many times have I told you

220
00:08:51,355 --> 00:08:52,854
not to watch this moronic show?

221
00:08:52,921 --> 00:08:54,654
You do this just to gall me,
don't you?

222
00:08:54,721 --> 00:08:56,554
Come on, dad, it's almost over,

223
00:08:56,621 --> 00:08:58,288
and Wally's totally awesome!

224
00:08:58,355 --> 00:08:59,921
And totally unsuitable
for children!

225
00:09:02,055 --> 00:09:03,988
Don't--
Leave that off, young man!

226
00:09:04,055 --> 00:09:06,621
Listen to me!

227
00:09:06,687 --> 00:09:08,355
Robby-- That's it!

228
00:09:09,488 --> 00:09:11,422
You're grounded for one week.

229
00:09:11,488 --> 00:09:13,988
You can forget about coming
to my party Saturday night.

230
00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:16,221
[Wally voice]
Oh, Governor, I'm crushed.

231
00:09:22,888 --> 00:09:24,854
Your dad's pissed.

232
00:09:24,921 --> 00:09:27,021
Yeah?

233
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:30,522
Wait till he sees who I
invited to his stupid party.

234
00:09:30,587 --> 00:09:33,055
Hey, I'm talking about
a wild girl here.

235
00:09:33,121 --> 00:09:35,055
All: How wild, Wally?

236
00:09:35,121 --> 00:09:36,288
I mean wild!

237
00:09:36,355 --> 00:09:38,988
When she licked the stamp,
Elvis started smiling.

238
00:09:39,055 --> 00:09:40,754
[Laughter]

239
00:09:40,821 --> 00:09:42,055
Well, that's it, folks.

240
00:09:42,121 --> 00:09:44,355
I'll see you Monday,
when our topic will be...

241
00:09:44,422 --> 00:09:46,422
"Sex after 10 years of marriage...

242
00:09:46,488 --> 00:09:48,388
should the wife know about it?"

243
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,188
But just remember, folks...

244
00:09:51,255 --> 00:09:53,287
every man has his tale of woe.

245
00:09:53,354 --> 00:09:56,586
Unfortunately, in life,
there's more woe than tale.

246
00:09:56,653 --> 00:09:58,820
[Applause]

247
00:10:00,421 --> 00:10:03,220
And... clear.

248
00:10:03,287 --> 00:10:06,054
That was a great show.

249
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,920
I got to go talk to Wally.

250
00:10:07,987 --> 00:10:09,620
[Sighs]

251
00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:11,220
Dad!

252
00:10:11,287 --> 00:10:13,454
Dean! Hey, what a surprise!

253
00:10:13,521 --> 00:10:16,187
Hey, did you see the show?
Pretty crazy, huh?

254
00:10:16,254 --> 00:10:17,753
Crazy's a good way to describe it.
Yeah.

255
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:19,254
Listen, I just wanted
to remind you,

256
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,521
the band's playing down
at the cellar door

257
00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:21,553
in the village this weekend.

258
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,187
I'll be there.
Are you kidding?

259
00:10:23,254 --> 00:10:24,953
Wild horses couldn't keep me away.

260
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,020
Unless they're at the track.

261
00:10:26,087 --> 00:10:28,521
No, I promise you,
I'll be there, OK?

262
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,620
How are you guys doing?

263
00:10:29,686 --> 00:10:30,853
Great. Great.

264
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,720
Our manager thinks we're
ready for the big-time.

265
00:10:32,787 --> 00:10:34,787
Big-time, huh?
Hey, watch out for managers.

266
00:10:34,853 --> 00:10:36,087
I had a manager once.

267
00:10:36,154 --> 00:10:37,653
He booked me so far out in the woods,

268
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,653
my act was reviewed
in <i>Field and Stream</i>.

269
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:41,820
Hey, have a bite to eat.

270
00:10:41,887 --> 00:10:43,553
Come on, we'll have a bite to eat.

271
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:46,354
Oh, you know, I got this--
I got this appointment.

272
00:10:46,421 --> 00:10:48,987
Appointment?
At this hour, huh?

273
00:10:49,054 --> 00:10:50,387
Do me a favor, will you?

274
00:10:50,454 --> 00:10:52,820
When you get to the good parts,
think of me, OK?

275
00:10:52,887 --> 00:10:53,820
Here, you need some bread?

276
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,454
- Oh, no, I'm OK.
- You're sure?

277
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:58,586
Dad, you don't have to
support the whole world, OK?

278
00:11:00,685 --> 00:11:02,019
See you this weekend.

279
00:11:02,086 --> 00:11:03,520
Wally, Miller's on the warpath again.

280
00:11:03,585 --> 00:11:05,153
We gotta get out of here.

281
00:11:05,219 --> 00:11:07,453
Sandy, do you think my kid likes me?

282
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,119
Dean? Of course.
Why?

283
00:11:09,186 --> 00:11:10,786
I don't know.
Sometimes I get the feeling

284
00:11:10,852 --> 00:11:12,319
he don't respect what I do.

285
00:11:12,386 --> 00:11:13,585
Oh, come on.
What's not to respect?

286
00:11:13,652 --> 00:11:15,386
I mean, how many kids
can say their father

287
00:11:15,453 --> 00:11:17,585
can eat a banana between
a woman's breasts, huh?

288
00:11:17,652 --> 00:11:19,286
Huh. You got a point there.

289
00:11:19,353 --> 00:11:21,119
In fact, you got 2 points there.

290
00:11:21,186 --> 00:11:22,353
Come on.

291
00:11:24,186 --> 00:11:26,219
Wally, this special delivery
came for you today.

292
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,552
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

293
00:11:27,619 --> 00:11:28,719
Well, what's this,

294
00:11:28,786 --> 00:11:30,952
another hate letter from
that Governor in Georgia?

295
00:11:31,019 --> 00:11:33,019
No. It's an invitation
to the campaign ball.

296
00:11:33,086 --> 00:11:34,852
Ha! Look at that.
It's 1,000 bucks a head.

297
00:11:34,919 --> 00:11:37,786
Go to Atlanta to see a bunch
of stiffs? No, thanks.

298
00:11:37,852 --> 00:11:40,420
The only stiff I want
to see is when I'm naked.

299
00:11:42,685 --> 00:11:44,353
Well, Mr. Degenerate.

300
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,886
I see you managed to put on
another fiasco tonight.

301
00:11:46,952 --> 00:11:48,086
You know, Miller,

302
00:11:48,153 --> 00:11:51,585
you're the only white guy
I know with a brown nose.

303
00:11:51,652 --> 00:11:53,919
Very good.
Laugh it up, funny man,

304
00:11:53,986 --> 00:11:56,053
but you lost another sponsor tonight,

305
00:11:56,119 --> 00:11:58,886
and Mr. Spencer just downed
a year's supply of prozac.

306
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,253
He wants to see you in his office.

307
00:12:01,319 --> 00:12:02,286
Now.

308
00:12:08,718 --> 00:12:09,785
Hello, Wally.

309
00:12:09,851 --> 00:12:11,318
Good to see you.

310
00:12:11,385 --> 00:12:12,885
You know what this is?

311
00:12:12,951 --> 00:12:15,285
Yeah. A healthy girl
laying on her back.

312
00:12:15,352 --> 00:12:18,218
[Chuckles]
Close.

313
00:12:18,285 --> 00:12:22,018
No, it's a history
of your ad revenue report.

314
00:12:22,085 --> 00:12:24,419
Notice there's a lot
of peaks and valleys.

315
00:12:24,485 --> 00:12:26,452
A lot more valleys than peaks

316
00:12:26,519 --> 00:12:31,218
because your show has evolved
into a parade of freaks,

317
00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:33,985
a carnival for the unfortunate,

318
00:12:34,052 --> 00:12:36,885
a tits-and-ass burlesque show.

319
00:12:36,951 --> 00:12:39,218
Wally:
Oh, but the fans love it!

320
00:12:39,285 --> 00:12:40,218
Yeah?

321
00:12:40,285 --> 00:12:41,785
Well, the sponsors hate it.

322
00:12:41,851 --> 00:12:42,918
They hate it.

323
00:12:42,985 --> 00:12:44,452
What, is there an echo here?

324
00:12:47,718 --> 00:12:49,851
We've been through this before,
Wally,

325
00:12:49,918 --> 00:12:51,318
many times.

326
00:12:51,385 --> 00:12:53,584
It's my job to keep
the sponsors happy,

327
00:12:53,651 --> 00:12:56,252
and they're not happy, so...

328
00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,651
your show is coming to an end.

329
00:12:58,718 --> 00:12:59,651
What?!

330
00:12:59,718 --> 00:13:00,651
You're going to cancel us?

331
00:13:00,718 --> 00:13:02,152
Oh, come on, we can work it out.

332
00:13:02,218 --> 00:13:04,152
Not this time, Wally.

333
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,385
I'm sorry.

334
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,452
Wait a second!
Wait a second!

335
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,985
Excuse me, Mr. Spencer,

336
00:13:09,052 --> 00:13:11,452
But this is bullshit!

337
00:13:11,519 --> 00:13:14,118
And we all know that if it
wasn't for Wally Sparks,

338
00:13:14,185 --> 00:13:15,583
None of us would be here right now.

339
00:13:15,650 --> 00:13:17,151
I mean, the man's a friggin' pioneer.

340
00:13:17,217 --> 00:13:19,950
He invented tabloid talk format

341
00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:21,583
and made this network
what it is today.

342
00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:22,884
I did that?

343
00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:25,518
How dare you talk
to Mr. Spencer that way!

344
00:13:25,583 --> 00:13:28,518
Mr. Spencer is responsible
for this network's success,

345
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,251
and no one else.

346
00:13:30,317 --> 00:13:32,184
Why, he is a programming genius.

347
00:13:32,251 --> 00:13:33,683
Shut up.
Look...

348
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:36,117
Next week are ratings sweeps.

349
00:13:36,184 --> 00:13:38,117
Let us book some real
big names on the show

350
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,850
and change the show's format.

351
00:13:39,917 --> 00:13:42,351
I'm afraid it's too late.
It's beyond repair.

352
00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:44,017
Totally beyond repair.

353
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,017
Miller...

354
00:13:46,084 --> 00:13:47,084
Yes, sir?

355
00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:48,917
I want you to go over there
in the corner,

356
00:13:48,984 --> 00:13:50,451
face the wall, and count to 100.

357
00:13:50,518 --> 00:13:51,451
But, sir--

358
00:13:51,518 --> 00:13:52,617
Make it 200.

359
00:13:52,683 --> 00:13:53,617
Yes, sir.

360
00:13:53,683 --> 00:13:55,484
OK.

361
00:13:55,550 --> 00:13:56,650
1 Mississippi...

362
00:13:56,717 --> 00:13:57,784
2 Mississippi...

363
00:13:57,850 --> 00:14:01,850
Mr. Spencer, you
and Wally go way back.

364
00:14:01,917 --> 00:14:03,117
You owe him one.

365
00:14:08,984 --> 00:14:10,717
You're right.

366
00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:13,650
We do go back a long way.

367
00:14:13,717 --> 00:14:15,184
A long way.

368
00:14:15,251 --> 00:14:17,550
All right, Wally,
I'll give you another week,

369
00:14:17,617 --> 00:14:19,051
but I want a total transformation.

370
00:14:19,117 --> 00:14:20,518
Oh, you got it!

371
00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:23,450
Thanks, Spence. I take back
everything I said about you.

372
00:14:24,949 --> 00:14:26,116
Thank you, Mr. Spencer.

373
00:14:26,183 --> 00:14:27,116
Yeah.

374
00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:28,517
Sir!

375
00:14:28,582 --> 00:14:30,716
You can't be serious about
giving him another chance.

376
00:14:30,783 --> 00:14:32,649
Sparks is an embarrassment
to the network.

377
00:14:32,716 --> 00:14:35,283
I want to give him the benefit
of going out with a fight.

378
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:36,582
But, sir, I really don't think--

379
00:14:36,649 --> 00:14:38,816
No, you don't, Miller.
Everyone says that about you.

380
00:14:38,883 --> 00:14:41,983
You know, that girl was
right about Wallace Sparks.

381
00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:44,250
We go back a long way.

382
00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:46,417
I mean, there's a code of ethics

383
00:14:46,483 --> 00:14:48,949
among old friends
in the broadcasting business

384
00:14:49,016 --> 00:14:50,783
that you young punks
wouldn't understand.

385
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,849
It's about loyalty and respect.

386
00:14:52,916 --> 00:14:55,316
OK, fine. Fine.
What if he fails?

387
00:14:55,383 --> 00:14:56,417
He's out on his ass.

388
00:14:57,716 --> 00:14:59,283
"Mr. Degenerate."

389
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:02,816
Huh.
"Totally beyond repair."

390
00:15:02,883 --> 00:15:05,682
Hey, I got a bootleg tape
of that hot new porno queen

391
00:15:05,749 --> 00:15:07,383
I was telling you about.

392
00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:09,450
She'd make a great
guest on the show.

393
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,316
Where is she?

394
00:15:18,383 --> 00:15:20,116
She'll be up in a minute.

395
00:15:20,183 --> 00:15:21,916
More of Joey's home movies?

396
00:15:21,983 --> 00:15:23,716
I thought this was supposed
to be a staff meeting.

397
00:15:23,783 --> 00:15:25,350
In a minute.
We're busy here.

398
00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:28,483
All right, Joey,
book her on the show.

399
00:15:28,549 --> 00:15:29,816
You haven't even seen her yet.

400
00:15:29,882 --> 00:15:30,948
How do you know if
she's the right girl?

401
00:15:31,015 --> 00:15:33,115
She's the right girl.

402
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,615
That is it!

403
00:15:35,681 --> 00:15:37,482
This is our asses on the line.

404
00:15:37,548 --> 00:15:38,748
If we don't clean up our act,

405
00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:40,648
we're all going to lose our jobs.
Hello?

406
00:15:40,715 --> 00:15:43,149
From now on, no more porno stars,

407
00:15:43,215 --> 00:15:44,848
and no more stupid shows

408
00:15:44,915 --> 00:15:46,815
with alien lesbian
Elvis impersonators.

409
00:15:46,882 --> 00:15:49,349
I thought that was
one of our best shows!

410
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,982
When, Robby, when are
you going to grow up?

411
00:15:52,049 --> 00:15:53,615
When I was your age,

412
00:15:53,681 --> 00:15:56,182
I went to school,
and I held down a job.

413
00:15:56,249 --> 00:15:58,516
And you didn't have any Nintendo...

414
00:15:58,581 --> 00:16:02,082
and you had to walk 5 miles
every day without any shoes--

415
00:16:02,149 --> 00:16:03,748
And I respected my elders.

416
00:16:03,815 --> 00:16:05,349
And I respected my elders!

417
00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:07,848
That's because your daddy
put you in military school.

418
00:16:07,915 --> 00:16:09,848
Our family has attended
that fine institution

419
00:16:09,915 --> 00:16:11,848
ever since our great-great-
great-great-granddaddy

420
00:16:11,915 --> 00:16:13,715
Colonel Bufford Preston
founded that school!

421
00:16:13,782 --> 00:16:14,715
Harvey:
We're ready now.

422
00:16:14,782 --> 00:16:16,715
I'm not going to that stupid school.

423
00:16:16,782 --> 00:16:17,715
Mom, tell him!

424
00:16:17,782 --> 00:16:18,848
Mom, tell him he is going.

425
00:16:18,915 --> 00:16:21,115
Floyd, perhaps if you
spent some time with him,

426
00:16:21,182 --> 00:16:22,782
I mean, he needs your guidance.

427
00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:25,015
He needs what my daddy
used to give me.

428
00:16:25,082 --> 00:16:27,082
A good old-fashioned
kick in the aspidistra!

429
00:16:27,149 --> 00:16:28,082
Director:
Action!

430
00:16:28,149 --> 00:16:29,115
What?

431
00:16:29,182 --> 00:16:31,748
How do you do?
I'm Governor Floyd Preston.

432
00:16:31,815 --> 00:16:33,882
I'm here at home
with my wonderful family.

433
00:16:33,948 --> 00:16:36,782
I'd like you to meet
my charming wife Emily.

434
00:16:36,848 --> 00:16:39,847
I'm sorry that our daughter
Priscilla can't be with us.

435
00:16:39,914 --> 00:16:41,481
She's away at school studying hard

436
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:44,481
to one day follow in the great
Preston family tradition.

437
00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:48,248
And over here is our fine son Robby.

438
00:16:48,314 --> 00:16:49,515
The Preston family name

439
00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:52,947
has always stood for good,
wholesome American values,

440
00:16:53,014 --> 00:16:54,148
So, remember...

441
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:57,214
a vote for Floyd Preston
is a vote for family.

442
00:16:57,281 --> 00:16:58,214
Director:
Cut!

443
00:16:58,281 --> 00:16:59,881
Smile!
Beautiful.

444
00:17:01,981 --> 00:17:03,981
Look, you'd better come up
with something quick,

445
00:17:04,048 --> 00:17:05,547
or we're going to end up like this guy.

446
00:17:05,614 --> 00:17:06,547
Hey!

447
00:17:06,614 --> 00:17:09,148
Hey, Wally, I could
use a little change.

448
00:17:09,214 --> 00:17:11,614
Yeah? Why don't you try Paris, huh?

449
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,580
Here, take this.
Go ahead.

450
00:17:14,647 --> 00:17:16,580
[Whistling]
Over here!

451
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:19,881
Sorry, lady.

452
00:17:19,947 --> 00:17:21,181
Hey, taxi!

453
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,181
Hey, you're Wally Sparks.
I'm your biggest fan.

454
00:17:23,248 --> 00:17:24,381
Hey, how you doing?

455
00:17:24,448 --> 00:17:26,048
Uh, we're in a hurry.
Take us to Soho.

456
00:17:26,114 --> 00:17:27,081
You got it, lady.

457
00:17:27,148 --> 00:17:29,881
Hey, look at that!
Wally Sparks! Hey, hey!

458
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,781
Driver: Let's go here!
What is this?

459
00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:39,381
Ahh!

460
00:17:39,448 --> 00:17:41,181
Hey, Wally, my name is Tony.

461
00:17:41,248 --> 00:17:42,947
I can't believe you're here.

462
00:17:43,014 --> 00:17:45,646
Wait'll I tell the guys
I had you in my cab.

463
00:17:45,713 --> 00:17:47,913
Hey, Tony, first of all,
you never had me...

464
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,746
Ha ha ha!
You kill me!

465
00:17:49,813 --> 00:17:52,013
And if you did have me,
it wouldn't be in a cab.

466
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,813
This guy kills me!
He kills me!

467
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:56,180
Hey, Wally...

468
00:17:56,247 --> 00:17:57,980
I went out with a girl
last night,

469
00:17:58,047 --> 00:17:59,247
and, boy, was she ugly.

470
00:17:59,313 --> 00:18:01,247
Oh, go ahead.
How ugly, huh?

471
00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:03,047
She went to the plastic surgeon,

472
00:18:03,113 --> 00:18:04,746
he added a tail!

473
00:18:04,813 --> 00:18:06,546
Ha ha ha!
All right.

474
00:18:06,613 --> 00:18:08,646
Uh, Tony, don't lose
your hack license, huh?

475
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:09,980
Oh ho ho!

476
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,813
Wally, Spencer says he wants
a total transformation, OK?

477
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,546
That means we got to have
more newsworthy guests.

478
00:18:15,613 --> 00:18:18,047
Tonight is Governor Preston's
campaign ball

479
00:18:18,113 --> 00:18:19,180
down in Atlanta.

480
00:18:19,247 --> 00:18:20,414
Listen to what he wrote you.

481
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,113
He says here he's sorry
about the letter he sent you,

482
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:25,380
and he's actually a really big fan

483
00:18:25,447 --> 00:18:28,080
and thinks it would be "awesome"
to meet you in person.

484
00:18:28,147 --> 00:18:29,147
He said "awesome"?

485
00:18:29,213 --> 00:18:30,380
No kidding.

486
00:18:30,447 --> 00:18:31,780
Yeah. Maybe we could get him
to be a guest on the show.

487
00:18:31,846 --> 00:18:32,846
Think of it--

488
00:18:32,913 --> 00:18:34,813
"Moral majority Governor
meets Wally Sparks."

489
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,480
Oh, Sandy, come down to earth,
will you?

490
00:18:36,546 --> 00:18:37,980
The Governor, he's not
going to do my show.

491
00:18:38,047 --> 00:18:39,313
Oh, come on,
what have we got to lose?

492
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:40,613
You know, let's go
down there and find out.

493
00:18:40,679 --> 00:18:42,780
Yeah, Wally. Why don't you
go down and find out?

494
00:18:42,846 --> 00:18:44,113
You think I should go, huh?

495
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:45,113
Absolutely.
Absolutely.

496
00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:48,080
What am I asking him for, huh?

497
00:18:48,147 --> 00:18:50,047
I don't know about Atlanta.
I don't want to go.

498
00:18:50,113 --> 00:18:52,047
Oh, come on, Wally,
don't go soft on me.

499
00:18:52,113 --> 00:18:55,012
Ooh, I hate when a woman
says that to me.

500
00:18:55,079 --> 00:18:57,578
OK, Atlanta, here we come, all right?

501
00:18:57,645 --> 00:18:59,545
You talked me into it.

502
00:18:59,612 --> 00:19:01,479
We'll get there faster if we walk.

503
00:19:01,545 --> 00:19:02,979
Thanks a lot for being in my cab.

504
00:19:03,046 --> 00:19:03,979
Take care of yourself, huh?

505
00:19:04,046 --> 00:19:05,079
See you later.

506
00:19:05,146 --> 00:19:06,845
Go get 'em, baby!

507
00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:16,712
Ooh!

508
00:19:16,779 --> 00:19:17,712
Hey.

509
00:19:17,779 --> 00:19:20,212
Hey, this is some joint, huh?

510
00:19:20,279 --> 00:19:21,279
Yeah. We're in the South.

511
00:19:21,346 --> 00:19:22,279
Good evening.

512
00:19:22,346 --> 00:19:24,479
Wally Sparks and guest.

513
00:19:24,545 --> 00:19:26,845
Sir, are you aware this
is a black-tie affair?

514
00:19:26,912 --> 00:19:28,812
Oh, indubitably.

515
00:19:28,879 --> 00:19:30,346
This way, please.

516
00:19:30,413 --> 00:19:31,979
All right, buddy.
Take that, all right?

517
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,645
And get me some grey poupon, huh?

518
00:19:33,712 --> 00:19:35,012
Here, hold my purse, would you?

519
00:19:35,079 --> 00:19:35,945
Yeah.

520
00:19:44,712 --> 00:19:45,645
Thank you.

521
00:19:45,712 --> 00:19:46,578
Certainly.

522
00:19:57,379 --> 00:19:59,446
Oh, a bit of the bubbly.

523
00:20:04,478 --> 00:20:06,412
OK, Sandy, what's the plan?

524
00:20:06,478 --> 00:20:09,245
First, give me back my purse.

525
00:20:09,311 --> 00:20:10,811
Come here.

526
00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:12,378
I snuck in your video camera.

527
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,311
Look, I cut a hole in my purse.

528
00:20:14,378 --> 00:20:16,178
We can shoot tape
without anybody knowing.

529
00:20:16,245 --> 00:20:18,378
You go find the Governor,
warm up to him,

530
00:20:18,445 --> 00:20:20,677
and ask him about appearing
on the show, OK?

531
00:20:20,744 --> 00:20:23,178
Who knows what kind of juicy
stuff we're going to get?

532
00:20:23,245 --> 00:20:24,677
I'm beginning to feel like

533
00:20:24,744 --> 00:20:26,178
a real investigative journalist.

534
00:20:26,245 --> 00:20:27,278
Well, good.

535
00:20:27,345 --> 00:20:28,944
I'll be at the bar
investigating Jack Daniels.

536
00:20:29,011 --> 00:20:30,445
Oh, Emily, you look so fine.

537
00:20:30,512 --> 00:20:31,811
I can't believe it.

538
00:20:31,878 --> 00:20:34,045
Let's get that photo
right over here.

539
00:20:34,111 --> 00:20:35,711
Let's look right over this way.

540
00:20:35,778 --> 00:20:37,078
Ha ha ha!

541
00:20:37,145 --> 00:20:38,744
Hey, bartender, give me
a double anything

542
00:20:38,811 --> 00:20:40,378
on the double, will you?

543
00:20:40,445 --> 00:20:41,878
Wally Sparks!

544
00:20:41,944 --> 00:20:43,978
What are you doing
at this square affair?

545
00:20:44,045 --> 00:20:46,078
Oh, I came here to spread joy.

546
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,245
If I can find her.

547
00:20:47,311 --> 00:20:48,311
Ha ha ha!

548
00:20:48,378 --> 00:20:49,878
Hey, have you seen the Governor,
huh?

549
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:52,011
I haven't, but check
this action out.

550
00:20:52,078 --> 00:20:53,011
Passion punch.

551
00:20:53,078 --> 00:20:55,145
Hey, what's your name?

552
00:20:55,211 --> 00:20:56,378
Lola.

553
00:20:56,445 --> 00:20:57,811
You're a cute chick.

554
00:20:57,878 --> 00:20:58,978
Hey, Lola,

555
00:20:59,045 --> 00:21:01,512
how about letting me
be the rooster?

556
00:21:01,577 --> 00:21:03,577
Why don't you go pluck yourself?

557
00:21:03,644 --> 00:21:05,211
Oh, you got a quick tongue.

558
00:21:05,278 --> 00:21:06,711
That'll get you into trouble.

559
00:21:06,778 --> 00:21:08,210
Or get her out of trouble.

560
00:21:08,277 --> 00:21:09,710
Hoo, you bad, Wally!

561
00:21:09,777 --> 00:21:11,210
What kind of work you do, hon?

562
00:21:11,277 --> 00:21:12,210
I'm an actress.

563
00:21:12,277 --> 00:21:13,411
Let's get together.

564
00:21:13,477 --> 00:21:14,877
Maybe I can further your career.

565
00:21:14,943 --> 00:21:16,777
I don't believe in casual sex.

566
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,743
Hey, it won't be casual.

567
00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:20,576
I'll keep my tie on.

568
00:21:20,643 --> 00:21:21,576
Enjoy yourself.

569
00:21:21,643 --> 00:21:22,576
Randal.

570
00:21:22,643 --> 00:21:23,576
Floyd.

571
00:21:23,643 --> 00:21:24,676
Randal. So glad you could come.

572
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:26,477
I wouldn't miss this
for the world.

573
00:21:26,543 --> 00:21:28,077
You have my support 100%.

574
00:21:28,144 --> 00:21:29,943
I can't tell you how happy
that makes me to hear.

575
00:21:30,010 --> 00:21:31,743
I hope we can count
on you for your support

576
00:21:31,810 --> 00:21:32,743
for the development

577
00:21:32,810 --> 00:21:34,210
of the new Civil War
Theme park.

578
00:21:34,277 --> 00:21:36,144
My problem there is you
want to put that park

579
00:21:36,210 --> 00:21:38,244
on a protected historical landmark.

580
00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:39,743
I know, I know, but it's going to mean

581
00:21:39,810 --> 00:21:41,177
millions and millions of revenue

582
00:21:41,244 --> 00:21:42,411
for the state, Floyd.

583
00:21:42,477 --> 00:21:44,576
The party is counting on you
to do the right thing.

584
00:21:44,643 --> 00:21:46,444
Well, first I have to
do right by this party.

585
00:21:46,511 --> 00:21:47,710
Can we chat about it later, gentlemen?

586
00:21:47,777 --> 00:21:48,710
Enjoy.

587
00:21:48,777 --> 00:21:49,710
Talk to you soon. Bye.

588
00:21:49,777 --> 00:21:50,710
Emily.

589
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:52,210
[Raucous laughter]

590
00:21:54,977 --> 00:21:57,344
Hey, boys, you want
to have some laughs?

591
00:21:57,411 --> 00:21:59,210
Take a porno movie
and run it backwards.

592
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,411
That way you see the hooker
give back the money.

593
00:22:04,910 --> 00:22:06,144
Once in D.C.,

594
00:22:06,210 --> 00:22:09,843
we will remember who
our friends are, hmm?

595
00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:11,377
Oh! Oh...

596
00:22:11,444 --> 00:22:12,676
I'm so sorry...

597
00:22:12,743 --> 00:22:14,177
Oh, th-that's quite all right.

598
00:22:14,244 --> 00:22:15,776
I was due a fresh one anyway.

599
00:22:15,842 --> 00:22:18,109
Oh, wait. Here, let me get that.
Wait.

600
00:22:18,176 --> 00:22:20,876
Oh, I think it's coming out.

601
00:22:20,942 --> 00:22:21,876
What?

602
00:22:21,942 --> 00:22:23,842
Oh, don't worry,
it's just a little one.

603
00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:25,410
Ha! Um... yes.

604
00:22:25,476 --> 00:22:28,109
Oh... the stain.

605
00:22:28,176 --> 00:22:30,709
I don't think anyone's
going to notice, huh?

606
00:22:30,776 --> 00:22:31,709
I'm Harvey Bishop,

607
00:22:31,776 --> 00:22:34,976
the Governor's campaign manager.

608
00:22:35,043 --> 00:22:36,443
You are?

609
00:22:36,510 --> 00:22:38,510
Well, hello!
Hello there.

610
00:22:38,575 --> 00:22:39,709
Floyd, Floyd,

611
00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:41,510
did you see that strange man

612
00:22:41,575 --> 00:22:42,842
that was bothering us?

613
00:22:42,909 --> 00:22:44,842
What strange man
are you talking about?

614
00:22:44,909 --> 00:22:46,575
He's wearing a red jacket
with fireworks on it.

615
00:22:46,642 --> 00:22:47,575
No. What happened?

616
00:22:47,642 --> 00:22:48,842
Find him.

617
00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:50,809
Agent Cameron. Look, please
find a guest, red jacket.

618
00:22:50,876 --> 00:22:52,443
Check out here, will you?

619
00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:59,309
Yes, my husband is
the Canadian ambassador.

620
00:22:59,376 --> 00:23:02,276
You're from Canada, huh?
What a place, Canada!

621
00:23:02,343 --> 00:23:04,642
They started a country,
and nobody showed up, huh?

622
00:23:04,709 --> 00:23:06,176
I'm just kidding, folks.

623
00:23:06,243 --> 00:23:07,376
I'm Wally Sparks.

624
00:23:07,443 --> 00:23:09,109
Maybe you've seen
my television show.

625
00:23:09,176 --> 00:23:11,876
Well, we don't watch
much American television.

626
00:23:11,942 --> 00:23:13,609
Oh, that's too bad.
I heard in Canada

627
00:23:13,675 --> 00:23:15,309
they only have sex doggie style.

628
00:23:15,376 --> 00:23:17,109
That way, you can both
watch the hockey game.

629
00:23:17,176 --> 00:23:18,243
Ha ha!

630
00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:21,842
Ooh! Ah! Oh...

631
00:23:21,909 --> 00:23:23,674
Do me a favor, will you?

632
00:23:23,741 --> 00:23:25,375
Scratch my back, right back there.

633
00:23:25,442 --> 00:23:26,775
I got an itch right there, huh?

634
00:23:26,841 --> 00:23:28,775
Over here--
Will you get it?

635
00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:30,442
I've tried everything
to lose weight,

636
00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:32,509
but just 2 more weeks
on this cabbage diet,

637
00:23:32,574 --> 00:23:34,674
and my dietitian told me
I'll have the body

638
00:23:34,741 --> 00:23:36,908
of a 16-year-old, heh heh heh!

639
00:23:36,975 --> 00:23:38,342
I know.
I'm so excited!

640
00:23:38,409 --> 00:23:39,975
Oh, lady, stay right there,
will you?

641
00:23:40,042 --> 00:23:41,208
Oh, that's the spot!

642
00:23:41,275 --> 00:23:42,208
Oh!

643
00:23:42,275 --> 00:23:43,875
Oh! Too much!
Yeah! Yeah!

644
00:23:43,941 --> 00:23:44,908
Oh!

645
00:23:44,975 --> 00:23:46,242
Oh, that's the spot!

646
00:23:46,308 --> 00:23:47,674
Sparks!

647
00:23:47,741 --> 00:23:49,841
Oh, honey, oh, I'll marry you!

648
00:23:49,908 --> 00:23:51,941
Oh, I'll marry the dress,
whatever you want.

649
00:23:52,008 --> 00:23:53,175
Harvey!

650
00:23:53,242 --> 00:23:54,808
Get over here!

651
00:23:54,875 --> 00:23:57,342
Excuse me,
I'll be right back.

652
00:23:57,409 --> 00:23:58,409
What's happening?

653
00:23:58,475 --> 00:24:00,142
How did he get in here?

654
00:24:00,208 --> 00:24:01,674
Wally Sparks?

655
00:24:01,741 --> 00:24:03,242
You got it, honey,
a trip to Puerto Rico,

656
00:24:03,308 --> 00:24:04,741
whatever you want.

657
00:24:04,808 --> 00:24:06,075
You're a genius.
Oh! Yeah!

658
00:24:06,142 --> 00:24:07,574
Surely his name wasn't
on the guest list?

659
00:24:07,641 --> 00:24:08,574
No, sir--

660
00:24:08,641 --> 00:24:09,741
[Muttering]

661
00:24:09,808 --> 00:24:11,574
No, sir, no! We do not
want to create a scene.

662
00:24:11,641 --> 00:24:14,075
Let me check the guest list.

663
00:24:14,142 --> 00:24:15,574
Oh, that's it, baby.

664
00:24:15,641 --> 00:24:18,975
Now, stick around, will you?
I may get jock itch.

665
00:24:28,409 --> 00:24:29,375
[Music ends]

666
00:24:29,442 --> 00:24:30,442
[Applause]

667
00:24:30,509 --> 00:24:34,074
Well, it's legit, sir.
Here's his invitation.

668
00:24:34,141 --> 00:24:36,707
How on earth could
this have happened?

669
00:24:36,774 --> 00:24:38,441
I don't know.

670
00:24:41,007 --> 00:24:43,907
[<i>Paper Doll</i> plays]

671
00:24:43,974 --> 00:24:45,874
Hey, you two should find a room.

672
00:24:49,241 --> 00:24:51,673
You two should find a warehouse.

673
00:24:52,807 --> 00:24:53,673
Yes!

674
00:24:55,508 --> 00:24:56,940
Governor Preston.

675
00:24:57,007 --> 00:24:58,374
It's so nice to see you again.

676
00:24:58,441 --> 00:24:59,607
Why, yes. Hello.

677
00:24:59,673 --> 00:25:01,607
I do hope you'll save a dance
for me for later on.

678
00:25:01,673 --> 00:25:02,607
Why, sure I will.

679
00:25:02,673 --> 00:25:03,607
Mrs. Preston.

680
00:25:03,673 --> 00:25:05,141
Hello.

681
00:25:05,207 --> 00:25:06,141
Floyd, who was that?

682
00:25:06,207 --> 00:25:07,573
I have no idea.

683
00:25:17,807 --> 00:25:19,474
What a party.

684
00:25:19,540 --> 00:25:21,041
Looks like the unhappy hour.

685
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,408
Hi. You come here often?

686
00:25:27,474 --> 00:25:29,707
Don't worry, honey,
I'm not making a play for you.

687
00:25:29,774 --> 00:25:32,441
I don't want this guy-- Oh!

688
00:25:32,508 --> 00:25:33,607
Oh...

689
00:25:38,839 --> 00:25:39,773
Oh, I'm sorry.

690
00:25:41,539 --> 00:25:43,340
[Voices approaching]

691
00:25:46,407 --> 00:25:47,672
Woman:
Good evening, sir.

692
00:25:47,739 --> 00:25:49,240
Hi. Ha ha.

693
00:25:49,306 --> 00:25:51,507
It's, uh...
quite a night, huh?

694
00:25:51,572 --> 00:25:53,440
It certainly is, sir.

695
00:25:53,507 --> 00:25:55,073
Yeah.

696
00:25:55,140 --> 00:25:56,507
[<i>Tiger Rag</i> plays]

697
00:26:04,639 --> 00:26:06,773
Ooh... oh, wow!
Gross!

698
00:26:06,839 --> 00:26:09,240
How come they're all staring at me?

699
00:26:09,306 --> 00:26:12,273
They must recognize you from the show.

700
00:26:12,340 --> 00:26:14,140
Oh, there's Governor Preston.

701
00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:15,806
Remember, be charming.

702
00:26:15,873 --> 00:26:17,140
Why, don't I look charming?

703
00:26:17,206 --> 00:26:19,606
Oh, God, Harvey,
they're coming this way.

704
00:26:24,206 --> 00:26:25,440
I can see that.

705
00:26:25,507 --> 00:26:26,939
Governor Preston?
I'm Sandy Gallo.

706
00:26:27,006 --> 00:26:28,639
I produce
<i>The Wally Sparks Show</i>.

707
00:26:28,706 --> 00:26:31,373
I'd like you to meet Wally Sparks.

708
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,173
Hey, Governor, how are you, huh?

709
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,040
You don't know how excited
I am to meet you, ha ha!

710
00:26:36,106 --> 00:26:37,040
[Crash, tinkle]

711
00:26:37,106 --> 00:26:38,040
[Coughing]

712
00:26:38,106 --> 00:26:39,672
By the way, thanks for the invite.

713
00:26:39,739 --> 00:26:41,706
You got a hell of a shindig
going on here.

714
00:26:41,773 --> 00:26:43,373
How do you do?
I'm Emily Preston--

715
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,140
How do you do, baby?

716
00:26:45,206 --> 00:26:47,305
Hey, Governor, I found out
you're a big fan of mine.

717
00:26:47,372 --> 00:26:48,772
You know, how about doing my show?

718
00:26:48,838 --> 00:26:51,638
I'll fly you to New York,
first-class, nice room.

719
00:26:51,705 --> 00:26:54,072
You want some company,
I'll work that out, too--

720
00:26:54,139 --> 00:26:55,205
What does he mean by company?

721
00:26:55,272 --> 00:26:57,139
I have no idea.
Oh, your friend wants you.

722
00:26:57,205 --> 00:26:58,372
Oh, thanks.
Excuse me.

723
00:26:58,439 --> 00:27:00,072
I need some ice here.

724
00:27:00,139 --> 00:27:02,072
You don't need that, do you, buddy?

725
00:27:02,139 --> 00:27:03,872
OK? Good.

726
00:27:03,938 --> 00:27:06,105
Governor?
You promised me a dance.

727
00:27:06,172 --> 00:27:08,838
Your timing couldn't be better.

728
00:27:08,905 --> 00:27:10,905
Company. I see.

729
00:27:10,972 --> 00:27:12,005
Wally, there's the Governor's wife.

730
00:27:12,072 --> 00:27:13,705
Why don't you go grab her
and dance with her?

731
00:27:13,772 --> 00:27:14,972
I'll get it on tape.

732
00:27:15,039 --> 00:27:16,205
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Go on.

733
00:27:16,272 --> 00:27:17,671
Yeah.

734
00:27:17,738 --> 00:27:19,571
Hey, buddy, hold that for me.

735
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:20,872
Emily, baby, come here.

736
00:27:20,938 --> 00:27:22,538
Let's show them how to do it, baby.

737
00:27:22,605 --> 00:27:23,705
Oh, no, thank you--

738
00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:26,305
Ah, come on, you'll enjoy it.

739
00:27:26,372 --> 00:27:29,305
You never told me you
worked for Wally Sparks.

740
00:27:29,372 --> 00:27:33,039
Oh, Harv, there's a lot
of things I've never told you.

741
00:27:33,105 --> 00:27:36,406
I'm a very deep...
caring... sensual...

742
00:27:36,472 --> 00:27:38,805
giving person, you know?

743
00:27:38,872 --> 00:27:41,571
You know what I'd like more
than anything right now?

744
00:27:41,638 --> 00:27:42,571
What's that?

745
00:27:42,638 --> 00:27:43,905
Sex on the beach.

746
00:27:43,972 --> 00:27:45,139
I'll get the car.

747
00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:46,605
Wait a second, honey.

748
00:27:46,671 --> 00:27:47,838
It's just a drink.

749
00:27:47,905 --> 00:27:48,872
Oh.

750
00:27:48,938 --> 00:27:50,538
- Why don't you get us 2, OK?
- Yeah.

751
00:27:50,605 --> 00:27:52,072
- Be a doll.
- All right.

752
00:27:52,139 --> 00:27:53,239
All right.

753
00:27:53,305 --> 00:27:55,004
[Tango music playing]

754
00:27:56,737 --> 00:27:57,771
Oh!

755
00:28:15,604 --> 00:28:17,204
Oh!

756
00:28:17,271 --> 00:28:19,637
Excuse me.

757
00:28:19,704 --> 00:28:21,238
Oh...

758
00:28:21,304 --> 00:28:23,570
Aah...

759
00:28:23,637 --> 00:28:26,171
Senator Floyd Preston. Whoo!
I like the sound of that.

760
00:28:31,871 --> 00:28:34,637
Oh! Oh! Ah!

761
00:28:34,704 --> 00:28:37,438
Hey, who knows?
Someday you could be the first lady.

762
00:28:39,038 --> 00:28:40,405
The question is,

763
00:28:40,471 --> 00:28:42,737
was the Governor the first man?

764
00:28:42,804 --> 00:28:44,604
Whoa!

765
00:28:44,670 --> 00:28:47,104
We met in Savannah
at your campaign rally,

766
00:28:47,171 --> 00:28:48,904
but you probably don't remember.

767
00:28:48,971 --> 00:28:50,771
Floyd!

768
00:28:50,837 --> 00:28:52,871
We both had an awful lot
to drink that night.

769
00:28:52,937 --> 00:28:54,971
You have me confused
with someone else.

770
00:28:55,038 --> 00:28:56,004
Whoo!

771
00:28:56,071 --> 00:28:57,204
Oh!

772
00:28:57,271 --> 00:28:59,171
Please, sir!

773
00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:00,271
Oh!

774
00:29:00,338 --> 00:29:01,304
Oh!

775
00:29:01,371 --> 00:29:03,070
Pardon me.

776
00:29:03,137 --> 00:29:04,669
<i>Olé!</i>

777
00:29:07,070 --> 00:29:08,504
Oh, my God...

778
00:29:08,569 --> 00:29:09,504
Oh!

779
00:29:09,569 --> 00:29:11,936
Wally:
Oh, my big dipper!

780
00:29:12,003 --> 00:29:14,536
Ah-- Oh!

781
00:29:14,603 --> 00:29:16,636
Oh! Oh! Oh!

782
00:29:16,703 --> 00:29:18,137
Whoa!

783
00:29:19,569 --> 00:29:21,303
OK, baby, big finish.
Slap it down.

784
00:29:21,370 --> 00:29:22,870
Ohh... oh!

785
00:29:22,936 --> 00:29:25,137
Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

786
00:29:25,203 --> 00:29:26,203
Excuse me.

787
00:29:30,669 --> 00:29:32,936
Hey, buddy, I'll take one of those.

788
00:29:33,003 --> 00:29:34,103
Yes, sir.

789
00:29:34,170 --> 00:29:35,903
Thanks.

790
00:29:35,970 --> 00:29:37,669
[Jazzy <i>Liebestraum</i> plays]

791
00:29:41,970 --> 00:29:42,903
Canapé, ma'am?

792
00:29:42,970 --> 00:29:44,404
No, thank you.

793
00:29:44,470 --> 00:29:45,770
...really try
this diet, Diane.

794
00:29:45,836 --> 00:29:47,603
Well, it's a strict vegetarian diet,

795
00:29:47,669 --> 00:29:50,504
but I can eat vegetables, olives,

796
00:29:50,569 --> 00:29:52,504
it absolutely drives my husband crazy

797
00:29:52,569 --> 00:29:54,569
that I won't eat meat anymore.

798
00:29:54,636 --> 00:29:55,569
Eww!

799
00:29:55,636 --> 00:29:57,936
Emily: Oh, look who it is!
Oh, my God!

800
00:29:58,003 --> 00:29:59,736
Bless your heart for coming, sir.

801
00:29:59,803 --> 00:30:01,470
Governor, great to be here.

802
00:30:01,536 --> 00:30:03,003
Or should I say Senator?

803
00:30:03,070 --> 00:30:04,370
Well, I hope you should.

804
00:30:04,437 --> 00:30:06,237
Could we talk you into
singing for us tonight?

805
00:30:06,303 --> 00:30:07,270
I would love to,

806
00:30:07,337 --> 00:30:08,736
but this throat's
a little sore tonight.

807
00:30:08,803 --> 00:30:09,735
Aww...
Aww...

808
00:30:09,802 --> 00:30:11,236
Don't even talk about it.
Say no more.

809
00:30:11,302 --> 00:30:12,635
I'll get you some tea.

810
00:30:12,702 --> 00:30:13,802
Wally Sparks!

811
00:30:13,869 --> 00:30:15,769
Hey, Michael, baby, this is wild.
How are you?

812
00:30:15,835 --> 00:30:17,735
Good to see you.
You know, I tell you, though,

813
00:30:17,802 --> 00:30:19,436
I went out with this girl last week.

814
00:30:19,503 --> 00:30:21,535
She was so ugly,
I took her to the beach,

815
00:30:21,602 --> 00:30:23,369
they wanted to know
what I used for bait.

816
00:30:23,436 --> 00:30:24,735
Hey, Michael,

817
00:30:24,802 --> 00:30:27,702
you're going to sing for us
tonight, aren't you?

818
00:30:27,769 --> 00:30:29,969
Mr. Sparks, we mustn't
impose. Sore throat...

819
00:30:30,036 --> 00:30:31,902
Know what, Wally?
For you, anything.

820
00:30:36,169 --> 00:30:37,036
[Applause]

821
00:30:40,436 --> 00:30:41,668
Folks, uh...

822
00:30:41,735 --> 00:30:44,535
I want to dedicate this song
to a great, great state...

823
00:30:44,602 --> 00:30:45,568
Hear, hear!

824
00:30:45,635 --> 00:30:48,102
and to a very special friend of mine.

825
00:30:48,169 --> 00:30:50,835
The coolest guy I know,

826
00:30:50,902 --> 00:30:51,835
Wally Sparks.

827
00:30:51,902 --> 00:30:53,769
[Music starts]

828
00:30:59,469 --> 00:31:01,436
* Georgia *

829
00:31:04,602 --> 00:31:06,635
* Georgia *

830
00:31:10,102 --> 00:31:14,902
* The whole day through *

831
00:31:16,302 --> 00:31:19,734
* Just an old sweet song *

832
00:31:19,801 --> 00:31:22,402
[Blows nose loudly]

833
00:31:22,468 --> 00:31:29,834
* Keeps Georgia on my mind *

834
00:31:34,301 --> 00:31:35,368
Oh!

835
00:31:37,168 --> 00:31:38,101
Hi.

836
00:31:38,168 --> 00:31:39,667
Hi.

837
00:31:39,734 --> 00:31:40,801
Cheers.

838
00:31:46,301 --> 00:31:48,801
[Whispering]
Wally, come here. Come here!

839
00:31:52,201 --> 00:31:54,601
The camera fell in the punch bowl.

840
00:31:54,667 --> 00:31:55,734
Yeah? Ohh...

841
00:31:59,968 --> 00:32:01,101
...some punch.

842
00:32:03,301 --> 00:32:05,168
Oh, great. Here comes somebody.

843
00:32:07,901 --> 00:32:10,734
I want to see if it's
the right temperature.

844
00:32:13,734 --> 00:32:15,301
Here, put it in the bag.

845
00:32:26,267 --> 00:32:27,234
Damn.

846
00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:29,767
The punch must've shorted
this thing out.

847
00:32:29,833 --> 00:32:32,100
It could be the TV.

848
00:32:32,167 --> 00:32:33,467
Sometimes with this stuff,

849
00:32:33,533 --> 00:32:35,167
you just have to hit it

850
00:32:35,234 --> 00:32:36,501
and it works, you know?

851
00:32:36,566 --> 00:32:38,200
Hey, look at this.
It says "Screen."

852
00:32:38,267 --> 00:32:39,600
Maybe this'll fix it, huh?

853
00:32:42,367 --> 00:32:44,334
Excuse me just a moment.
I'm sorry.

854
00:32:44,401 --> 00:32:46,067
Oh, sure.

855
00:32:46,134 --> 00:32:47,566
Excuse me, darling,
I'm sorry,

856
00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:49,200
But I think Harvey might be running

857
00:32:49,267 --> 00:32:50,367
a new campaign commercial.

858
00:32:50,434 --> 00:32:51,467
I had no idea

859
00:32:51,533 --> 00:32:53,167
there was going to be
a screen presentation.

860
00:32:53,234 --> 00:32:54,434
Will you excuse me, gentlemen?

861
00:32:54,501 --> 00:32:55,933
Ladies and gentlemen--
Sorry, band? Please.

862
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:56,933
[Band stops]

863
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,401
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen,

864
00:32:58,467 --> 00:33:00,367
if you'd join us down
at this end of the room,

865
00:33:00,434 --> 00:33:02,833
we're going to show you
a little film presentation.

866
00:33:02,900 --> 00:33:04,633
I hope this will prove to you

867
00:33:04,700 --> 00:33:07,234
that we always try
to use your contributions

868
00:33:07,300 --> 00:33:09,467
in a mature, responsible manner.

869
00:33:09,533 --> 00:33:11,034
[Panting, moaning]

870
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,733
My God, it's a...

871
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,867
Well, I never...

872
00:33:18,933 --> 00:33:20,800
How did this get on there?

873
00:33:20,867 --> 00:33:24,000
I must've taped over Joey's porno.

874
00:33:24,067 --> 00:33:27,767
Floyd, why is that man
in such pain?

875
00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:29,933
Is he one of your supporters?

876
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,367
[Faster breathing]

877
00:33:36,133 --> 00:33:37,766
Hey, here we go.
We got something.

878
00:33:37,832 --> 00:33:39,699
Ha! Thank God.
It's about time.

879
00:33:39,766 --> 00:33:42,133
Now, my wife has tried
every diet on the planet,

880
00:33:42,199 --> 00:33:44,366
and her ass is still as wide
as the Mississippi.

881
00:33:44,433 --> 00:33:45,299
Oh!

882
00:33:49,266 --> 00:33:50,199
Oh, Helen.

883
00:33:50,266 --> 00:33:52,199
Oh, what a terrible--
Randal!

884
00:33:52,266 --> 00:33:54,066
Look at this.
The rewind button,

885
00:33:54,133 --> 00:33:56,066
it's stuck!

886
00:33:56,133 --> 00:33:56,999
Owowoh!

887
00:33:58,366 --> 00:33:59,899
Owowoh!

888
00:34:01,433 --> 00:34:02,299
Owowoh!

889
00:34:04,033 --> 00:34:04,899
Owowoh!

890
00:34:06,932 --> 00:34:07,899
[Laughter]

891
00:34:12,932 --> 00:34:14,699
Check you out.

892
00:34:14,766 --> 00:34:17,832
Owowoh! Owowoh!
Owowoh! Owowoh!

893
00:34:17,899 --> 00:34:19,299
Harvey?

894
00:34:19,366 --> 00:34:20,732
Harvey! Harvey!

895
00:34:20,799 --> 00:34:21,832
Harvey?

896
00:34:21,899 --> 00:34:23,033
- Here I am.
- Right now.

897
00:34:23,099 --> 00:34:24,133
- Yes, sir.
- Do something now!

898
00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:25,966
- <i>Now</i>, Harvey!
- Yes, sir.

899
00:34:26,033 --> 00:34:28,466
We got nothing.
That tape is ruined.

900
00:34:28,532 --> 00:34:30,766
Ah, so sue me.

901
00:34:30,832 --> 00:34:32,832
OK, back to work.

902
00:34:32,899 --> 00:34:34,632
Come on.
I need a drink.

903
00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:45,432
Dave.

904
00:34:45,499 --> 00:34:46,931
Isn't he beautiful?

905
00:34:46,998 --> 00:34:48,132
Mm-hmm.

906
00:34:48,198 --> 00:34:49,998
I had to outbid 2 other buyers.

907
00:34:50,065 --> 00:34:51,531
Worth every penny.

908
00:34:51,598 --> 00:34:53,365
You gonna race 'im, Floyd?

909
00:34:53,432 --> 00:34:55,165
No, no, no.
Not this boy.

910
00:34:55,232 --> 00:34:57,032
I'm putting him out to stud.

911
00:34:57,098 --> 00:34:58,564
Thank you, Nancy, very much.

912
00:34:58,631 --> 00:34:59,965
Folks, they're about to serve dessert.

913
00:35:00,032 --> 00:35:01,465
Why don't we head back on in?

914
00:35:01,531 --> 00:35:03,564
Nancy, come up to
the house for some supper

915
00:35:03,631 --> 00:35:04,499
when you're through.

916
00:35:13,865 --> 00:35:14,831
How are you?

917
00:35:14,898 --> 00:35:16,931
Hi.

918
00:35:16,998 --> 00:35:20,664
Hey, how are you doing, boy?

919
00:35:20,731 --> 00:35:24,365
So, they're going to
send you out to stud, huh?

920
00:35:26,198 --> 00:35:28,865
Whoa! They'll be flocking
all over you.

921
00:35:32,365 --> 00:35:35,298
I know, it's rude to drink alone,
huh?

922
00:35:35,365 --> 00:35:37,598
You thirsty?
I'll take care of that.

923
00:35:40,564 --> 00:35:42,032
Here you are.

924
00:35:42,098 --> 00:35:44,631
Yeah, I know how it is, baby.

925
00:35:44,698 --> 00:35:47,198
I know how it is.
There you go, baby.

926
00:35:47,265 --> 00:35:49,498
OK, here, all you want.

927
00:35:49,563 --> 00:35:50,498
[Slurping]

928
00:35:50,563 --> 00:35:53,131
Go ahead.
Hey, have a party.

929
00:35:53,197 --> 00:35:57,131
I promise I won't
take advantage of you.

930
00:35:57,197 --> 00:35:58,064
[<i>Dixie</i> plays]

931
00:36:02,064 --> 00:36:03,797
Now, let's welcome to the stage

932
00:36:03,864 --> 00:36:05,297
our great Governor.

933
00:36:05,364 --> 00:36:07,297
He'll have our respect
and the nation's

934
00:36:07,364 --> 00:36:09,663
as our next United States Senator--

935
00:36:09,730 --> 00:36:11,197
Floyd Preston

936
00:36:11,264 --> 00:36:13,164
and our lovely hostess Emily!

937
00:36:16,997 --> 00:36:18,930
Thank you, thank you so much.

938
00:36:18,997 --> 00:36:20,498
Governor:
Thank you, Randal.

939
00:36:20,563 --> 00:36:22,197
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you...

940
00:36:22,264 --> 00:36:23,331
thank you all very much.

941
00:36:23,398 --> 00:36:24,797
I want to thank you
for being here...

942
00:36:24,864 --> 00:36:25,830
[Clinking]

943
00:36:25,897 --> 00:36:27,697
and for your many
generous contributions.

944
00:36:27,764 --> 00:36:31,164
I know this has been
a rough campaign,

945
00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:33,097
but I assure you, we will--

946
00:36:33,164 --> 00:36:35,197
[Shouting]
No! No!

947
00:36:35,264 --> 00:36:36,264
We will ride on...

948
00:36:36,331 --> 00:36:37,597
to victory--

949
00:36:37,663 --> 00:36:39,231
Oh!
Aah!

950
00:36:46,164 --> 00:36:47,464
[Whinny]

951
00:36:47,530 --> 00:36:48,597
Jericho!

952
00:36:48,663 --> 00:36:51,663
Wally:
Get out of the way!

953
00:36:51,730 --> 00:36:53,398
Jericho!

954
00:36:56,796 --> 00:36:58,896
Is that horse too rough for you?

955
00:36:58,963 --> 00:37:01,263
Oh, my God...

956
00:37:01,330 --> 00:37:03,330
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

957
00:37:03,397 --> 00:37:06,263
Hey, stop it!
What is this, foreplay?

958
00:37:06,330 --> 00:37:07,662
Emily:
Don't panic, anybody, please!

959
00:37:07,729 --> 00:37:09,263
Do not tip the valets.

960
00:37:09,330 --> 00:37:11,497
They have already been taken care of.

961
00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:12,929
Wha-what are you doing there, sir?

962
00:37:12,996 --> 00:37:14,330
Whoa! Slow down, will you?

963
00:37:14,397 --> 00:37:16,662
Sparks!
Get off my horse!

964
00:37:16,729 --> 00:37:18,030
Oh, my goodness!

965
00:37:18,096 --> 00:37:19,829
Just... Jericho!

966
00:37:19,896 --> 00:37:21,996
Watch the vermin on your right,
sir!

967
00:37:22,063 --> 00:37:23,330
How do you stop this thing?

968
00:37:23,397 --> 00:37:25,163
I need a designated rider.

969
00:37:25,230 --> 00:37:26,662
Whoa!

970
00:37:26,729 --> 00:37:28,263
Oh, my God!

971
00:37:28,330 --> 00:37:29,463
You are desecrating the flag

972
00:37:29,529 --> 00:37:30,629
of the sacred state of--

973
00:37:30,696 --> 00:37:32,196
Governor, look out, will you?

974
00:37:32,263 --> 00:37:35,063
Mr. Sparks, would you mind yourself,
please?

975
00:37:35,130 --> 00:37:36,529
Whoa, boy...

976
00:37:36,596 --> 00:37:38,596
Easy, boy, easy...

977
00:37:38,662 --> 00:37:41,696
Calm yourself, boy. Good lad.

978
00:37:41,763 --> 00:37:43,296
Wally:
What are you looking at?

979
00:37:43,363 --> 00:37:44,796
Hey, no more for you.

980
00:37:44,863 --> 00:37:45,829
The bar's closed.

981
00:37:45,896 --> 00:37:47,562
Ohh... yeah.

982
00:37:49,463 --> 00:37:50,529
Let's get out of here!

983
00:37:50,596 --> 00:37:51,963
[Whinny]

984
00:37:52,030 --> 00:37:53,662
Oh!

985
00:37:53,729 --> 00:37:55,296
Look out!

986
00:37:55,363 --> 00:37:56,363
He's gonna blow!

987
00:37:56,430 --> 00:37:57,696
Run!

988
00:38:01,963 --> 00:38:05,095
Run for your lives!
Drunk horse!

989
00:38:05,162 --> 00:38:07,129
Good night.
Call me.

990
00:38:07,195 --> 00:38:09,295
Hey, I thought we were friends.
Aah!

991
00:38:09,362 --> 00:38:10,962
[Whinny]

992
00:38:11,029 --> 00:38:13,462
Aah!

993
00:38:18,862 --> 00:38:21,329
I really hate that man.

994
00:38:21,396 --> 00:38:23,229
Floyd...

995
00:38:23,295 --> 00:38:25,295
get down from there.

996
00:38:25,362 --> 00:38:26,995
[Horse snorts]

997
00:38:28,396 --> 00:38:30,862
In a bizarre accident here
at the Governor's mansion,

998
00:38:30,928 --> 00:38:33,462
talk show host Wally Sparks
heroically restrained

999
00:38:33,528 --> 00:38:35,396
a maniacal horse
from injuring the Governor

1000
00:38:35,462 --> 00:38:36,928
and his party guests.

1001
00:38:36,995 --> 00:38:39,029
The Governor's prize
thoroughbred Jericho

1002
00:38:39,095 --> 00:38:42,496
was not seriously injured,
b-b-but they say he's...

1003
00:38:42,561 --> 00:38:44,528
suffering from a severe hangover.

1004
00:38:44,595 --> 00:38:47,795
This ain't going to
hurt you one bit, baby.

1005
00:38:47,862 --> 00:38:50,029
All right, grease him up there.

1006
00:38:50,095 --> 00:38:52,229
OK, give me that butt grease.

1007
00:38:52,295 --> 00:38:53,862
This is stuttering John
reporting to you from Georgia,

1008
00:38:53,928 --> 00:38:55,095
and this is freaking disgusting,

1009
00:38:55,162 --> 00:38:56,362
and I'm out of here.

1010
00:38:56,429 --> 00:38:58,628
Wally Sparks' condition is
still unknown at this time.

1011
00:38:58,695 --> 00:39:00,129
Stories are rapidly spreading

1012
00:39:00,195 --> 00:39:01,928
that the controversial
TV talkster's injuries

1013
00:39:01,995 --> 00:39:03,129
may prove fatal.

1014
00:39:03,195 --> 00:39:05,528
He's said to be resting
in the Governor's bedroom.

1015
00:39:10,095 --> 00:39:11,694
Wally:
Oh, honey, I love you.

1016
00:39:11,761 --> 00:39:13,461
Baby, I love you, don't fight me.

1017
00:39:13,527 --> 00:39:15,961
Do the right thing, now, come on,
baby.

1018
00:39:16,028 --> 00:39:17,461
Don't fight me.

1019
00:39:17,527 --> 00:39:19,161
Do the right thing, will you?
Come on, huh?

1020
00:39:19,228 --> 00:39:20,161
Wally.

1021
00:39:20,228 --> 00:39:21,627
Oh, baby, I love you.
Come here, baby...

1022
00:39:21,694 --> 00:39:23,927
Hey, Wally, come on, wake up!

1023
00:39:23,994 --> 00:39:26,328
Wally, wake up. Hey.

1024
00:39:26,395 --> 00:39:27,560
Oh, it's you.

1025
00:39:27,627 --> 00:39:29,495
Yeah. You all right?

1026
00:39:29,594 --> 00:39:31,328
Boy, I really poured one on.

1027
00:39:31,395 --> 00:39:32,627
Yeah, you did.

1028
00:39:32,694 --> 00:39:33,627
My head.

1029
00:39:33,694 --> 00:39:35,660
I got hammered.

1030
00:39:35,727 --> 00:39:37,461
Look at the publicity
you're getting.

1031
00:39:37,527 --> 00:39:41,061
Your accident was
a gigantic media event.

1032
00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:45,861
You can't buy this
kind of publicity.

1033
00:39:45,927 --> 00:39:47,560
Stop the presses!

1034
00:39:47,627 --> 00:39:50,128
I'm just about to be brilliant.

1035
00:39:50,194 --> 00:39:52,228
This... is how we're
going to save the show!

1036
00:39:56,761 --> 00:39:58,861
We'll tell them that you
injured your back.

1037
00:39:58,927 --> 00:40:01,395
Doctors can't prove a phony
back injury with an X-ray.

1038
00:40:01,461 --> 00:40:03,727
Then we'll say you can't be moved,

1039
00:40:03,794 --> 00:40:05,861
and you're going to stay
here till you can walk.

1040
00:40:05,927 --> 00:40:08,395
Well, what do I want to stay here for?

1041
00:40:08,461 --> 00:40:09,694
So you can do the show!

1042
00:40:09,761 --> 00:40:11,927
Here, drink this.
You'll feel better.

1043
00:40:11,994 --> 00:40:13,128
Do what show?

1044
00:40:13,194 --> 00:40:15,527
What show? "Live, from
the Governor's mansion,

1045
00:40:15,594 --> 00:40:17,161
<i>The Wally Sparks Show!"</i>

1046
00:40:17,228 --> 00:40:18,960
What are you trying to prove,

1047
00:40:19,027 --> 00:40:21,427
little things mean a lot?

1048
00:40:21,494 --> 00:40:24,893
I'm telling you, Wally, it'll work.

1049
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,260
Oh, Sandy, I don't know,
you know?

1050
00:40:26,327 --> 00:40:27,659
I mean, I don't know what to do.

1051
00:40:27,726 --> 00:40:29,659
I mean, the Governor,
he's been so nice to us.

1052
00:40:29,726 --> 00:40:31,826
I feel like we're taking
advantage of the guy.

1053
00:40:31,893 --> 00:40:32,826
Wow!

1054
00:40:32,893 --> 00:40:35,460
You look a lot fatter
than you do on TV.

1055
00:40:35,526 --> 00:40:37,460
Yeah? And I'm tougher, too.
Who are you?

1056
00:40:37,526 --> 00:40:39,559
Robby Preston, the Governor's son.

1057
00:40:39,626 --> 00:40:41,559
I invited you guys to the party.

1058
00:40:41,626 --> 00:40:42,926
Wait, you sent the invitation?

1059
00:40:42,993 --> 00:40:46,127
Oh, yeah!
I'm Wally's biggest fan.

1060
00:40:46,193 --> 00:40:48,394
[Imitating Wally]
Hey, she's a wild girl.

1061
00:40:48,460 --> 00:40:50,427
She put on a virgin wool sweater,

1062
00:40:50,494 --> 00:40:52,227
her body rejected it.

1063
00:40:52,293 --> 00:40:53,826
This kid's all right.

1064
00:40:53,893 --> 00:40:56,993
I can't hear you.
This jacket's too loud!

1065
00:40:57,060 --> 00:40:59,160
Hey, kid, you're all right,
you know?

1066
00:40:59,227 --> 00:41:01,626
But I thought your father
invited me to this party.

1067
00:41:01,693 --> 00:41:02,760
Oh, no.

1068
00:41:02,826 --> 00:41:05,494
You're the last person
on earth he wants to see.

1069
00:41:05,559 --> 00:41:08,227
He hates your guts.
He thinks you're slime.

1070
00:41:08,293 --> 00:41:09,893
That's why I love you so much.

1071
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,193
Is that a compliment, or what?

1072
00:41:12,260 --> 00:41:13,960
What are you doing in here, huh?

1073
00:41:14,027 --> 00:41:16,826
Eavesdropping.
Heard everything you guys said.

1074
00:41:16,893 --> 00:41:18,760
But don't worry.
I won't rat.

1075
00:41:18,826 --> 00:41:20,127
Besides,

1076
00:41:20,193 --> 00:41:22,693
I'm the second-to-last
person on earth

1077
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:24,127
my dad wants to see.

1078
00:41:26,026 --> 00:41:28,459
Is this true?
Is this true?

1079
00:41:28,525 --> 00:41:29,959
I'm over here, putz.

1080
00:41:30,026 --> 00:41:31,259
Is this true?

1081
00:41:31,326 --> 00:41:35,558
Is he really doing the show
from a wheelchair?

1082
00:41:35,625 --> 00:41:37,592
What a stroke of luck.

1083
00:41:37,658 --> 00:41:39,759
Wally paralyzed...

1084
00:41:39,825 --> 00:41:41,459
in the Governor's mansion.

1085
00:41:41,525 --> 00:41:44,426
Sir, what if this is one
of Sparks' wild stunts

1086
00:41:44,493 --> 00:41:45,859
just to save his show?

1087
00:41:45,925 --> 00:41:47,959
Maybe I should go down there
and investigate.

1088
00:41:48,026 --> 00:41:50,393
I'll prove to you he's
concocted the whole thing--

1089
00:41:50,459 --> 00:41:51,393
Miller.

1090
00:41:51,459 --> 00:41:52,393
Yes, sir?

1091
00:41:52,459 --> 00:41:54,692
I think you need a woman.

1092
00:41:54,759 --> 00:41:55,992
Oh, sir, I--

1093
00:41:56,059 --> 00:41:57,825
Even if she's expensive.

1094
00:41:57,892 --> 00:41:59,558
O... K.

1095
00:42:00,692 --> 00:42:02,525
Governor Floyd Preston
and his supporters

1096
00:42:02,592 --> 00:42:04,692
have just finished their presentation

1097
00:42:04,759 --> 00:42:06,558
in opposition to the development

1098
00:42:06,625 --> 00:42:08,359
of a Civil War Theme park

1099
00:42:08,426 --> 00:42:09,859
planned to be developed

1100
00:42:09,925 --> 00:42:11,692
right here on this historical landmark.

1101
00:42:11,759 --> 00:42:13,692
[Fifes and drums playing
<i>When Johnny Comes Marching Home</i>]

1102
00:42:13,759 --> 00:42:14,692
Thank you.

1103
00:42:14,759 --> 00:42:16,825
I love working with a trio.

1104
00:42:16,892 --> 00:42:18,959
Next week they open in Vegas.

1105
00:42:19,026 --> 00:42:21,092
I'll be in the lounge. Cut.

1106
00:42:21,159 --> 00:42:22,825
Governor, if you kick him out,

1107
00:42:22,892 --> 00:42:24,259
they are threatening to sue.

1108
00:42:24,326 --> 00:42:25,925
Think of the negative press
you'll receive,

1109
00:42:25,992 --> 00:42:28,226
Not to mention what he might
say about you on his show.

1110
00:42:28,292 --> 00:42:30,226
I don't understand. Why didn't
he just go stay in the hospital?

1111
00:42:30,292 --> 00:42:32,692
We might be able to get some
good play out of this, sir.

1112
00:42:32,759 --> 00:42:35,425
Especially if we air
your campaign commercials

1113
00:42:35,492 --> 00:42:37,492
during the taping of
his show from your house.

1114
00:42:37,557 --> 00:42:40,458
Nobody said anything about him
broadcasting from my home!

1115
00:42:40,524 --> 00:42:41,657
Hold him, hold him.

1116
00:42:41,724 --> 00:42:43,958
Governor, I think it's
very gracious for you

1117
00:42:44,025 --> 00:42:46,358
to open up your home to Wally Sparks.

1118
00:42:46,425 --> 00:42:47,858
Any man with a heart like that

1119
00:42:47,924 --> 00:42:49,358
has got a vote from me.

1120
00:42:49,425 --> 00:42:51,891
Yeah, mine, too.
God bless you, Governor Preston.

1121
00:42:55,392 --> 00:42:57,158
What else does Mr. Sparks want?

1122
00:42:57,225 --> 00:42:59,657
Well, sir, he'd like to continue
to stay in your bedroom,

1123
00:42:59,724 --> 00:43:01,657
and he's just crazy about your pajamas.

1124
00:43:01,724 --> 00:43:02,691
[Muttering]

1125
00:43:02,758 --> 00:43:05,791
Now, his producer,
a lovely, caring woman,

1126
00:43:05,858 --> 00:43:09,358
has assured me that the peace
and tranquillity of your home

1127
00:43:09,425 --> 00:43:11,158
will not be disturbed.

1128
00:43:11,225 --> 00:43:12,657
Back that mother up over here!

1129
00:43:12,724 --> 00:43:14,991
Come on, let's move it!
Move it! Move it!

1130
00:43:15,058 --> 00:43:16,791
Come on! Come on!

1131
00:43:16,858 --> 00:43:17,991
Let's go! Let's go!

1132
00:43:18,058 --> 00:43:20,791
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's move our butts here!

1133
00:43:20,858 --> 00:43:22,858
Come on, people, let's go.
We're losing the light.

1134
00:43:22,924 --> 00:43:24,858
Crowd, chanting:
Wally! Wally! Wally!

1135
00:43:24,924 --> 00:43:26,858
Oh! Oh! Aah!

1136
00:43:26,924 --> 00:43:28,158
It's Wally!

1137
00:43:28,225 --> 00:43:29,158
Hi there.

1138
00:43:29,225 --> 00:43:31,724
Oh, it's only the Governor.

1139
00:43:31,791 --> 00:43:33,724
How do you do, ma'am?

1140
00:43:33,791 --> 00:43:35,458
Wally! Wally! Wally!

1141
00:43:35,524 --> 00:43:36,591
Robby, on bullhorn:
Yeah, bring in that cable.

1142
00:43:36,657 --> 00:43:38,225
You know, we've only got a few hours.

1143
00:43:38,291 --> 00:43:39,891
Let's go, guys. Come on.
You're doing great.

1144
00:43:39,958 --> 00:43:41,823
Let's go! Yeah, hurry up!
We've got a show to do

1145
00:43:41,890 --> 00:43:43,491
in a couple of hours.
Come on! Come on!

1146
00:43:43,556 --> 00:43:46,757
Governor, will you please
get out of the way?

1147
00:43:46,823 --> 00:43:49,556
We're trying to work here.

1148
00:43:49,623 --> 00:43:50,890
Would you like a muffin?

1149
00:43:50,957 --> 00:43:53,057
[Everybody talking]

1150
00:43:53,124 --> 00:43:54,457
Muffin?

1151
00:43:54,523 --> 00:43:55,957
They're fat-free.

1152
00:43:56,024 --> 00:43:58,024
Emily, who are all--

1153
00:43:58,090 --> 00:43:59,324
Uh, would you like a muffin?

1154
00:43:59,391 --> 00:44:00,523
Emily, who--

1155
00:44:00,590 --> 00:44:02,357
Who are all these people?

1156
00:44:02,424 --> 00:44:04,623
They're guests on the show.
Floyd, isn't this exciting?

1157
00:44:04,690 --> 00:44:05,990
You should look at this.

1158
00:44:06,057 --> 00:44:07,457
Sir, that's an extremely valuable

1159
00:44:07,523 --> 00:44:09,057
18th century French inlaid side table.

1160
00:44:09,124 --> 00:44:10,457
It's very valuable,
I just--

1161
00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:11,656
OK, we won't break anything.

1162
00:44:11,723 --> 00:44:14,690
I don't want dents and scratches on it.

1163
00:44:14,757 --> 00:44:16,623
Get away from my chest, sir!

1164
00:44:19,024 --> 00:44:21,523
Live from the Governor's
mansion in Atlanta,

1165
00:44:21,590 --> 00:44:23,190
it's the show that tells it like it is.

1166
00:44:23,257 --> 00:44:25,556
Ain't no mystery to this man's history.

1167
00:44:25,623 --> 00:44:29,590
Meet Wally Sparks.

1168
00:44:29,656 --> 00:44:32,324
Tonight our show
focuses on a comparison

1169
00:44:32,391 --> 00:44:35,990
of American wrestling
to Japan's sumo wrestlers.

1170
00:44:36,057 --> 00:44:39,357
Sumo is the national
wrestling sport of Japan,

1171
00:44:39,424 --> 00:44:41,357
and the Japanese people
have high regard

1172
00:44:41,424 --> 00:44:43,290
for these mighty athletes.

1173
00:44:45,457 --> 00:44:48,457
OK, boys, stop bowing.
You'll tip over, huh?

1174
00:44:48,523 --> 00:44:51,889
That's it, sit down.
Down, boys, down. OK. All right.

1175
00:44:51,956 --> 00:44:54,722
Now, folks, let's meet
the American wrestlers,

1176
00:44:54,789 --> 00:44:57,123
the ever-dangerous Python Brothers.

1177
00:44:57,189 --> 00:44:59,522
Yeah!

1178
00:44:59,589 --> 00:45:01,223
[Audience boos and hisses]

1179
00:45:01,289 --> 00:45:02,989
Now tell me, boys.

1180
00:45:03,056 --> 00:45:05,289
Why are you giving
the sumos a hard time?

1181
00:45:05,356 --> 00:45:07,555
Well, Wally,
these fat tubs of lard

1182
00:45:07,622 --> 00:45:08,889
have the nerve to call themselves

1183
00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:10,922
professional athletes

1184
00:45:10,989 --> 00:45:13,456
when they look more like
the Fuji blimp!

1185
00:45:13,522 --> 00:45:16,655
We spend long, hard hours in the gym

1186
00:45:16,722 --> 00:45:19,689
getting our bodies to look like this.

1187
00:45:19,756 --> 00:45:20,989
Yeah!

1188
00:45:21,056 --> 00:45:24,555
Boys, name calling isn't
going to solve anything.

1189
00:45:24,622 --> 00:45:27,256
Then tell them to stop
stuffing their faces

1190
00:45:27,323 --> 00:45:29,356
and buy some brassieres!

1191
00:45:29,423 --> 00:45:30,822
[Speaking Japanese]

1192
00:45:30,889 --> 00:45:33,089
Does anyone know
what the hell these 2 jumbos

1193
00:45:33,156 --> 00:45:34,390
are talking about?

1194
00:45:34,456 --> 00:45:35,922
Unfortunately,

1195
00:45:35,989 --> 00:45:37,989
our Japanese interpreter
never showed up.

1196
00:45:38,056 --> 00:45:41,223
But lucky for us,
I speak fluent Japanese.

1197
00:45:41,289 --> 00:45:43,056
He does?

1198
00:45:43,123 --> 00:45:44,622
[Speaking Japanese]

1199
00:45:44,689 --> 00:45:46,822
...Toyota,
<i>Madame Butterfly</i>...

1200
00:45:46,889 --> 00:45:49,056
[Speaking Japanese]

1201
00:45:49,123 --> 00:45:50,156
Oh, really?

1202
00:45:50,223 --> 00:45:51,289
They say you're nothing

1203
00:45:51,356 --> 00:45:53,123
but a couple of steroid-popping pimps,

1204
00:45:53,189 --> 00:45:54,622
and you couldn't lick the sweat

1205
00:45:54,689 --> 00:45:55,956
off their flabby armpits.

1206
00:45:56,023 --> 00:45:59,688
Tell Tubby he couldn't last
2 seconds in the ring with me,

1207
00:45:59,755 --> 00:46:03,422
not even if his life
depended on it!

1208
00:46:03,489 --> 00:46:04,554
[Speaking Japanese]

1209
00:46:04,621 --> 00:46:06,222
You tell them

1210
00:46:06,288 --> 00:46:07,721
we'll wipe the floor with
their diaper-wearing butts!

1211
00:46:07,788 --> 00:46:09,188
I'm going for muffins.

1212
00:46:09,255 --> 00:46:10,255
Yeah, dear. Whatever.

1213
00:46:10,322 --> 00:46:11,921
They wanna know--
In your relationship,

1214
00:46:11,988 --> 00:46:13,222
which one is the man,

1215
00:46:13,288 --> 00:46:14,988
and which one is the woman?

1216
00:46:15,055 --> 00:46:16,888
[Yelling and grunting]

1217
00:46:16,955 --> 00:46:18,222
Harvey, I don't like this at all.

1218
00:46:18,288 --> 00:46:19,355
Aah!

1219
00:46:19,422 --> 00:46:21,422
Don't worry, sir.
It's just a setup.

1220
00:46:21,489 --> 00:46:22,422
It's all part of the act.

1221
00:46:22,489 --> 00:46:24,821
Aah!

1222
00:46:24,888 --> 00:46:27,288
Good heavens.
Son, are you all right?

1223
00:46:27,355 --> 00:46:29,188
Yeah.

1224
00:46:29,255 --> 00:46:31,088
There you are.
Aah!

1225
00:46:31,155 --> 00:46:33,422
I'm telling you,
you're blocking my closeup.

1226
00:46:33,489 --> 00:46:35,422
Whoa, very realistic, sir.

1227
00:46:35,489 --> 00:46:36,654
Hyah!

1228
00:46:36,721 --> 00:46:38,389
Aah!

1229
00:46:39,821 --> 00:46:43,188
Wally: Boys, boys, can't we
all just get along?

1230
00:46:44,988 --> 00:46:46,721
Can I help you?

1231
00:46:46,788 --> 00:46:49,322
I'm Dean Sparks.
I'm looking for my father Wally.

1232
00:46:49,389 --> 00:46:51,721
Oh, yes. He's in the living room.

1233
00:46:51,788 --> 00:46:53,255
Follow me, please.

1234
00:46:53,322 --> 00:46:56,755
Muffin? They're mighty popular.

1235
00:47:05,354 --> 00:47:06,720
Hey, everything's getting
out of hand here.

1236
00:47:06,787 --> 00:47:07,820
There he is.

1237
00:47:09,787 --> 00:47:11,653
What is going on in here?

1238
00:47:11,720 --> 00:47:13,687
Oh, Dean. Egypt.
What are you doing here?

1239
00:47:13,754 --> 00:47:14,687
I'm worried about you.

1240
00:47:14,754 --> 00:47:15,687
Aah!

1241
00:47:15,754 --> 00:47:17,154
Oh. Stop!

1242
00:47:17,221 --> 00:47:18,454
Joey:
Oh, my God! The snake's loose!

1243
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,754
Sandy:
Get a wide shot of that snake.

1244
00:47:20,820 --> 00:47:22,087
What is all this?

1245
00:47:22,154 --> 00:47:23,854
Aw, nothing.
I'm doing a show.

1246
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:25,854
Oh, I'm sorry I missed
your gig the other night.

1247
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:26,854
I really wanted to be there.

1248
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:27,987
Don't worry about it.

1249
00:47:28,054 --> 00:47:29,520
Listen, when we heard
you were stuck down here,

1250
00:47:29,587 --> 00:47:30,954
we booked the band
into a local club.

1251
00:47:31,021 --> 00:47:32,221
Aah!

1252
00:47:32,287 --> 00:47:34,087
Sumo!

1253
00:47:34,154 --> 00:47:35,121
Aah!

1254
00:47:35,187 --> 00:47:37,620
Emily:
Oh, you, put my husband down.

1255
00:47:37,687 --> 00:47:38,787
Aah!

1256
00:47:38,854 --> 00:47:41,553
Where are you going?
Robby. Robby, honey.

1257
00:47:41,620 --> 00:47:45,187
Governor. Governor, I want you
to meet my son Dean.

1258
00:47:45,254 --> 00:47:47,287
He'll be visiting us
for a few days, you know?

1259
00:47:47,354 --> 00:47:49,454
Help me.

1260
00:47:50,687 --> 00:47:54,653
Well, the Governor says hello.

1261
00:47:59,287 --> 00:48:01,488
Welcome back to <i>Talk Soup</i>.
I'm John Henson.

1262
00:48:01,553 --> 00:48:03,553
Well, yet another fight
broke out

1263
00:48:03,620 --> 00:48:05,287
on <i>The Wally Sparks Show</i>
this week

1264
00:48:05,354 --> 00:48:07,587
when Wally and
Governor Preston mixed it up

1265
00:48:07,653 --> 00:48:09,820
with some nasty wrestlers.
Let's watch.

1266
00:48:11,454 --> 00:48:14,253
Aah!

1267
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:18,253
Oh, man. Who's Wally's
new promoter, Don King?

1268
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:21,020
Let's get ready to rumble!

1269
00:48:21,086 --> 00:48:22,153
Now, folks, you hear about this?

1270
00:48:22,220 --> 00:48:23,453
I hear that Wally Sparks

1271
00:48:23,552 --> 00:48:25,986
is actually sleeping in
Governor Preston's bedroom.

1272
00:48:26,053 --> 00:48:27,786
The only problem is,
Wally says the Governor's wife

1273
00:48:27,853 --> 00:48:29,686
keeps hogging all the covers.

1274
00:48:31,586 --> 00:48:32,853
I don't know about that.

1275
00:48:32,919 --> 00:48:36,453
I thought there was going
to be a total transformation.

1276
00:48:36,519 --> 00:48:39,086
That was the same old
<i>Wally Sparks Show</i>.

1277
00:48:39,153 --> 00:48:41,786
The next show's going
to be much, much better.

1278
00:48:41,853 --> 00:48:42,953
I swear to God.

1279
00:48:43,020 --> 00:48:47,353
Ho ho ho. No.
There's not gonna be any more shows.

1280
00:48:47,420 --> 00:48:48,387
[Whistles]

1281
00:48:48,453 --> 00:48:51,320
Tell him it's over.

1282
00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:54,186
What are you saying, sir?
You gonna cancel us?

1283
00:48:54,253 --> 00:48:55,719
Yes!

1284
00:48:55,786 --> 00:48:58,552
[Sighs] Well, if that's
the way you want it,

1285
00:48:58,619 --> 00:49:01,853
I guess that's how it's gotta be.

1286
00:49:01,919 --> 00:49:03,387
I guess Wally will just have to take

1287
00:49:03,453 --> 00:49:05,753
one of the other 3 network offers

1288
00:49:05,819 --> 00:49:07,552
to air the special.

1289
00:49:07,619 --> 00:49:09,286
Special? What special?

1290
00:49:09,353 --> 00:49:11,886
Oh, nothing to concern yourself with,

1291
00:49:11,953 --> 00:49:13,786
I mean, now that it's over
between you and Wally.

1292
00:49:13,853 --> 00:49:16,719
Hey, wait a minute. Sandy,
what are you talking about?

1293
00:49:16,786 --> 00:49:18,053
Why didn't you tell me about this?

1294
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,618
Well, because I thought
I'd just keep it on the Q.T.

1295
00:49:20,685 --> 00:49:23,085
You know, make it
a little surprise for you.

1296
00:49:23,152 --> 00:49:25,185
But, um, I booked Governor Preston

1297
00:49:25,252 --> 00:49:27,185
to do a one-on-one with Wally.

1298
00:49:27,252 --> 00:49:29,585
All right.
Well, then I'll tell you what.

1299
00:49:29,651 --> 00:49:32,551
I-I'll put a whole big
campaign behind this show.

1300
00:49:32,618 --> 00:49:33,785
Oh, great, but you know what?

1301
00:49:33,852 --> 00:49:36,019
You should hold off
until the day of the show.

1302
00:49:36,085 --> 00:49:38,551
Hold it? Why?

1303
00:49:38,618 --> 00:49:41,119
I haven't worked out
all the particulars

1304
00:49:41,185 --> 00:49:42,419
with the Governor's people yet.

1305
00:49:42,486 --> 00:49:44,551
Yeah, but you're gonna work it out.

1306
00:49:44,618 --> 00:49:47,518
Uh, yes. I'm going to
get right on top of it.

1307
00:49:48,818 --> 00:49:50,019
Harvey...

1308
00:49:53,452 --> 00:49:54,752
Oh, shit.

1309
00:50:43,418 --> 00:50:45,118
Aah! Aah!

1310
00:50:45,184 --> 00:50:46,485
Aah!

1311
00:50:46,550 --> 00:50:51,784
Mom! Daddy! Mom! Daddy!
There's a man in my room!

1312
00:50:51,851 --> 00:50:54,751
Daddy! Mom!
Daddy! Daddy!

1313
00:50:54,817 --> 00:50:56,917
What happened, your husband come home?

1314
00:50:56,984 --> 00:51:00,717
Aah!

1315
00:51:00,784 --> 00:51:02,884
It's frustrating for all of us,
baby doll.

1316
00:51:02,951 --> 00:51:04,051
Daddy, I cannot believe

1317
00:51:04,118 --> 00:51:05,917
you're letting this man
treat you this way.

1318
00:51:05,984 --> 00:51:08,118
For heaven's sakes,
just throw him out.

1319
00:51:08,184 --> 00:51:09,851
Darling, I can't do that.
Harvey Bishop

1320
00:51:09,917 --> 00:51:12,018
says that would adversely
impact my campaign.

1321
00:51:12,084 --> 00:51:14,784
Well, I have no campaign,
so if I throw him out, it's OK.

1322
00:51:14,851 --> 00:51:16,184
Priscilla, honey, don't do that.

1323
00:51:16,251 --> 00:51:18,118
Harvey says if I'm nice to him--

1324
00:51:18,184 --> 00:51:20,717
Harvey says?
Listen to you, daddy.

1325
00:51:20,784 --> 00:51:23,251
You don't even know who you
are anymore without Harvey.

1326
00:51:23,318 --> 00:51:25,151
Good night, daddy.

1327
00:51:25,218 --> 00:51:27,851
Wait, baby doll.
Wait. Hon...

1328
00:51:41,350 --> 00:51:43,950
[Door opens]
Welcome home, Sis.

1329
00:51:44,017 --> 00:51:44,950
What are you doing?

1330
00:51:45,017 --> 00:51:46,750
Wally wants some down pillows.

1331
00:51:46,816 --> 00:51:50,317
Get out of the way, Toots.
Hot stuff coming through.

1332
00:51:50,384 --> 00:51:52,417
[Door opens]
If you need anything, Mr. Sparks,

1333
00:51:52,484 --> 00:51:54,083
buzz me on the intercom.

1334
00:51:54,150 --> 00:51:56,083
Good morning, darling.
[Kiss]

1335
00:51:56,150 --> 00:51:58,683
* Camptown races, hear my song *

1336
00:51:58,750 --> 00:51:59,783
* Doo-dah *

1337
00:51:59,850 --> 00:52:01,783
* Doo-dah *

1338
00:52:01,850 --> 00:52:03,317
Wally:
Come in.

1339
00:52:05,450 --> 00:52:06,417
Mr. Sparks...
[Door closes]

1340
00:52:06,484 --> 00:52:08,950
Oh, those yankees.
You can't stop 'em.

1341
00:52:09,017 --> 00:52:11,117
I'm Priscilla Preston,
and I want to talk to you--

1342
00:52:11,183 --> 00:52:13,283
Oh, yeah. We sortamet last night.

1343
00:52:13,350 --> 00:52:16,017
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

1344
00:52:16,083 --> 00:52:17,983
You see, my father and I
were talking--

1345
00:52:18,050 --> 00:52:20,183
Oh, your father's a great guy.
The best. And your mother--

1346
00:52:20,250 --> 00:52:23,250
A real doll. And your brother--
Cute as heck.

1347
00:52:23,317 --> 00:52:25,317
In fact, I gave him
a job working for me.

1348
00:52:25,384 --> 00:52:27,183
You may be able to charm
the rest of my family,

1349
00:52:27,250 --> 00:52:28,217
but not me.

1350
00:52:28,283 --> 00:52:29,916
Oh, by the way,
say hello to my son Dean.

1351
00:52:29,983 --> 00:52:32,384
How do you do?
I wou--

1352
00:52:32,450 --> 00:52:34,384
Hey. Ohh.

1353
00:52:34,450 --> 00:52:35,916
Hi.

1354
00:52:35,983 --> 00:52:38,183
Listen, I'm sorry about last night.

1355
00:52:38,250 --> 00:52:39,384
They-- They told me you weren't home.

1356
00:52:39,450 --> 00:52:40,384
That's OK.

1357
00:52:40,450 --> 00:52:42,416
I must have sounded
like a real wacko.

1358
00:52:42,483 --> 00:52:45,082
I'd scream, too, if there
was a naked guy in my bed.

1359
00:52:45,149 --> 00:52:47,749
Ho. A few guys I know
wouldn't mind at all.

1360
00:52:47,815 --> 00:52:49,082
Oh, Wally.

1361
00:52:49,149 --> 00:52:50,316
Dean, grab Egypt, will you?

1362
00:52:50,383 --> 00:52:51,515
He's due for doo-doo.

1363
00:52:52,682 --> 00:52:53,782
Uh...

1364
00:52:53,849 --> 00:52:56,149
Hey, would you like to join us?

1365
00:52:56,216 --> 00:52:57,849
Sure, I'd love to.

1366
00:52:57,915 --> 00:52:59,182
Great.

1367
00:53:01,049 --> 00:53:02,582
Um...

1368
00:53:02,648 --> 00:53:03,882
Oh.

1369
00:53:03,949 --> 00:53:05,249
Oh, OK.

1370
00:53:05,316 --> 00:53:08,383
OK. I'll just wait right outside.

1371
00:53:08,449 --> 00:53:09,849
OK. Thanks.

1372
00:53:10,982 --> 00:53:12,282
Bye.

1373
00:53:14,016 --> 00:53:14,882
Wow.

1374
00:53:24,615 --> 00:53:26,116
All right, Sparks.

1375
00:53:26,182 --> 00:53:27,449
Look at me.

1376
00:53:27,515 --> 00:53:28,749
[Egypt barks]

1377
00:53:28,815 --> 00:53:30,915
- Who's that?
- Oh, a little doggie.

1378
00:53:30,982 --> 00:53:33,082
A couple of lovers, huh?

1379
00:53:33,149 --> 00:53:34,648
Come on, Wally.

1380
00:53:34,715 --> 00:53:36,515
Where are you?

1381
00:53:42,682 --> 00:53:44,149
Heh heh heh heh.

1382
00:53:53,115 --> 00:53:55,814
Back injury, my ass.

1383
00:53:55,881 --> 00:53:57,581
I knew he was faking it.

1384
00:53:57,647 --> 00:53:59,181
Now we get the photos.

1385
00:54:02,748 --> 00:54:03,681
Unh.

1386
00:54:03,748 --> 00:54:06,814
Oh. Oh. Unh.

1387
00:54:06,881 --> 00:54:08,614
What the-- Oh, Lord.

1388
00:54:08,681 --> 00:54:10,647
Oh, Lord, no. Unh.

1389
00:54:10,714 --> 00:54:12,315
Unh.

1390
00:54:12,382 --> 00:54:15,048
Oh, my-- Oh, my God.

1391
00:54:15,115 --> 00:54:16,514
Help.

1392
00:54:16,581 --> 00:54:19,647
Aah!

1393
00:54:19,714 --> 00:54:22,448
Aah!

1394
00:54:22,514 --> 00:54:24,281
Oh, my God.

1395
00:54:25,482 --> 00:54:28,382
Aah!

1396
00:54:28,448 --> 00:54:30,148
No!

1397
00:54:31,448 --> 00:54:32,848
[Horn honks]
Aah!

1398
00:54:32,914 --> 00:54:33,848
[Honk honk]

1399
00:54:33,914 --> 00:54:36,914
Aah!
[Honk honk]

1400
00:54:36,981 --> 00:54:40,181
Oh, mommy!

1401
00:54:40,248 --> 00:54:42,814
[Splash]

1402
00:54:48,848 --> 00:54:51,748
1,001 Mississippi.
1,002 Mississippi.

1403
00:54:51,814 --> 00:54:52,981
1,003 Mississippi.

1404
00:54:53,048 --> 00:54:54,281
Hey, dad, you can walk.

1405
00:54:54,348 --> 00:54:56,081
Dean.

1406
00:54:56,148 --> 00:54:58,813
How do you like that? It--

1407
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:00,680
It must've been a muscle spasm.

1408
00:55:00,747 --> 00:55:02,114
But I, uh--

1409
00:55:02,180 --> 00:55:04,314
But I-- I really can't walk.

1410
00:55:06,214 --> 00:55:08,580
Oh, my God, dad, you're faking it,
aren't you?

1411
00:55:08,646 --> 00:55:10,014
I thought you were really hurt.

1412
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:11,481
Dean, I'm sorry.

1413
00:55:11,546 --> 00:55:15,180
I had to do it.
Otherwise, I'd lose my show.

1414
00:55:15,247 --> 00:55:16,347
Your show? Your show?

1415
00:55:16,414 --> 00:55:17,347
Of course,
I should've known.

1416
00:55:17,414 --> 00:55:21,214
Dean... you don't understand.

1417
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:23,680
I mean, this is too important.

1418
00:55:23,747 --> 00:55:26,114
No. Dad, it's always been like this.

1419
00:55:26,180 --> 00:55:29,347
Everything <i>you</i> do
is too important.

1420
00:55:32,114 --> 00:55:32,980
[Door closes]

1421
00:55:38,481 --> 00:55:41,280
- Oh, great.
- Hi. Hello.

1422
00:55:49,513 --> 00:55:51,014
[Cough]

1423
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:52,847
[Cough]

1424
00:55:57,381 --> 00:55:58,513
Great.

1425
00:56:00,813 --> 00:56:03,314
What the hell are you doing up?
Do you wanna get caught?

1426
00:56:03,381 --> 00:56:05,446
Get in bed.
Come on, get in bed.

1427
00:56:05,512 --> 00:56:07,645
If I get in bed,
will you tell me a story?

1428
00:56:07,712 --> 00:56:09,812
Ha. Very funny.
Come on, get in bed.

1429
00:56:09,879 --> 00:56:11,746
Sandy, I can't just lay in bed.

1430
00:56:11,812 --> 00:56:12,779
When I'm on my back,

1431
00:56:12,846 --> 00:56:14,179
I wanna be enjoying myself.

1432
00:56:14,246 --> 00:56:15,413
Do me a favor, will you?
Call New York.

1433
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:16,946
Tell Vivian to come down here

1434
00:56:17,013 --> 00:56:18,046
and hang with me, will you?

1435
00:56:18,113 --> 00:56:19,079
What, are you crazy?

1436
00:56:19,146 --> 00:56:20,146
You can't have any girls up here.

1437
00:56:20,213 --> 00:56:21,812
You're supposed to be
in critical condition.

1438
00:56:21,879 --> 00:56:24,612
Huh. If 4 days go by,
I don't have sex,

1439
00:56:24,679 --> 00:56:26,113
to me that's critical condition.

1440
00:56:26,179 --> 00:56:28,879
Look, if you want things to
work out, you just stay put

1441
00:56:28,946 --> 00:56:30,645
until we get the Governor
on the show, OK?

1442
00:56:30,712 --> 00:56:32,313
Suppose the Governor
don't do the show?

1443
00:56:32,380 --> 00:56:33,846
Hey, not an option.

1444
00:56:33,912 --> 00:56:35,879
Remember unemployment?
Skid row?

1445
00:56:35,946 --> 00:56:37,645
Who knows what'll happen to Joe?

1446
00:56:37,712 --> 00:56:39,079
He's nothing without you.

1447
00:56:39,146 --> 00:56:41,346
Hey, look. You stay out
of the Governor's hair,

1448
00:56:41,413 --> 00:56:43,679
and I...
will do some work on--

1449
00:56:43,746 --> 00:56:45,380
[Squirt squirt]
Harvey.

1450
00:56:45,446 --> 00:56:48,113
Oh, and don't forget
what the doctor said.

1451
00:56:48,179 --> 00:56:49,946
Don't lift anything over 10 pounds,
OK?

1452
00:56:50,013 --> 00:56:52,279
Don't lift anything over 10 pounds.

1453
00:56:52,346 --> 00:56:54,612
Now I can never take a leak.

1454
00:56:54,679 --> 00:56:55,912
Oh, please.

1455
00:57:05,946 --> 00:57:08,380
Let's see... escorts.
Ah, here's one.

1456
00:57:08,446 --> 00:57:10,746
"We will fill any fantasy."

1457
00:57:10,812 --> 00:57:11,946
[Doorbell rings]

1458
00:57:16,078 --> 00:57:17,678
- Hi.
- Hello.

1459
00:57:17,745 --> 00:57:20,578
I'm here to see Mr... Wally Sparks.

1460
00:57:20,644 --> 00:57:23,212
Oh, yes.
Upstairs, first door to the right.

1461
00:57:23,278 --> 00:57:24,644
Oh.

1462
00:57:26,945 --> 00:57:30,278
Um, whatever
your house call fee is,

1463
00:57:30,345 --> 00:57:31,711
please, put it on our bill.

1464
00:57:31,778 --> 00:57:34,078
Mr. Sparks already paid
with his credit card.

1465
00:57:34,145 --> 00:57:36,479
We always get paid up front,

1466
00:57:36,544 --> 00:57:38,012
the way we operate.

1467
00:57:38,078 --> 00:57:41,611
Oh, no. They're going to operate.

1468
00:57:41,678 --> 00:57:44,145
The man's a menace.

1469
00:57:44,212 --> 00:57:46,345
I don't care if they sue me,

1470
00:57:46,412 --> 00:57:48,778
he is not doing another
broadcast from this house.

1471
00:57:48,845 --> 00:57:51,045
But that's not an option, sir,

1472
00:57:51,112 --> 00:57:53,778
with all due respect.

1473
00:57:55,312 --> 00:57:56,778
You see, sir, after airing

1474
00:57:56,845 --> 00:57:58,745
your campaign spots
during the sumo show,

1475
00:57:58,811 --> 00:58:01,445
awareness among young
voters has gone way up.

1476
00:58:01,511 --> 00:58:03,479
Having Sparks here
has actually helped us.

1477
00:58:03,544 --> 00:58:06,278
In fact, I think you should
consider doing his show.

1478
00:58:06,345 --> 00:58:09,312
Harvey, I happen to think
it's time for you to go now.

1479
00:58:09,379 --> 00:58:11,911
I'll just leave you here
to ponder the possibility.

1480
00:58:11,978 --> 00:58:13,611
Just kind of kick it around
in your head.

1481
00:58:13,678 --> 00:58:15,012
Just try it on for size.

1482
00:58:15,078 --> 00:58:16,878
Bye, Harvey.

1483
00:58:16,945 --> 00:58:18,644
[Humming]

1484
00:58:18,711 --> 00:58:21,378
It's been real nice
doing business with you.

1485
00:58:21,444 --> 00:58:22,777
Ooh, I'll tell you one thing, honey--

1486
00:58:22,844 --> 00:58:25,211
You should be the head nurse.

1487
00:58:25,277 --> 00:58:27,344
A hooker.
What a business that is.

1488
00:58:27,411 --> 00:58:29,610
That's the best racket
in the world.

1489
00:58:29,677 --> 00:58:32,177
You got it, you sell it,
and you still got it.

1490
00:58:34,444 --> 00:58:36,844
"Back out of the election--"

1491
00:58:36,910 --> 00:58:39,311
What the hell is this?

1492
00:58:40,744 --> 00:58:41,677
[Wheezes]

1493
00:58:43,277 --> 00:58:46,777
[Labored breathing]

1494
00:58:46,844 --> 00:58:48,877
Floyd, darling, are you all right?

1495
00:58:48,944 --> 00:58:52,077
I don't know. Uh, I think
I'm having an anxiety attack.

1496
00:58:52,144 --> 00:58:53,077
Oh, darling.

1497
00:58:53,144 --> 00:58:55,510
I'll get the nurse.

1498
00:58:56,910 --> 00:58:57,877
[Giggles]

1499
00:58:57,944 --> 00:58:59,577
Thanks for the house call, honey.

1500
00:58:59,643 --> 00:59:00,810
Bye-bye.

1501
00:59:02,977 --> 00:59:04,677
[Sliding door opens]

1502
00:59:04,744 --> 00:59:08,177
Hi. Your wife sent me in to, uh...

1503
00:59:08,244 --> 00:59:10,177
take care of you.

1504
00:59:10,244 --> 00:59:12,744
I've been under a great deal
of stress of late.

1505
00:59:12,810 --> 00:59:13,910
Ohh.

1506
00:59:13,977 --> 00:59:17,277
Well, you just sit back and relax,

1507
00:59:17,344 --> 00:59:19,710
and don't you worry
this little head

1508
00:59:19,777 --> 00:59:20,777
about nothing.

1509
00:59:20,844 --> 00:59:23,211
Well, I really do appreciate this,
but...

1510
00:59:23,277 --> 00:59:26,777
I really can't see
what you're able to do.

1511
00:59:26,844 --> 00:59:29,743
Great balls of fire!
Never in my life--

1512
00:59:29,809 --> 00:59:31,676
What's going on in there?

1513
00:59:31,743 --> 00:59:35,377
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
He just wasn't up to it.

1514
00:59:35,443 --> 00:59:39,110
What is going on?
I hate that man!

1515
00:59:40,243 --> 00:59:41,176
[Woof]

1516
00:59:41,243 --> 00:59:42,176
[Giggles]

1517
00:59:42,243 --> 00:59:43,210
Come here.
Come here.

1518
00:59:43,276 --> 00:59:45,843
[Woof woof]

1519
00:59:45,909 --> 00:59:48,076
[Laughing]

1520
00:59:48,143 --> 00:59:51,410
I can't believe
you're Wally Sparks' son.

1521
00:59:51,477 --> 00:59:53,043
Yeah, I get that a lot.

1522
00:59:53,110 --> 00:59:55,709
I bet you do. How long
do you think it'll be

1523
00:59:55,776 --> 00:59:57,743
before your dad's well again?

1524
00:59:57,809 --> 01:00:00,310
Oh, my dad's never been well.

1525
01:00:00,377 --> 01:00:01,642
Ha ha ha.

1526
01:00:01,709 --> 01:00:03,276
OK, pull!

1527
01:00:05,276 --> 01:00:07,709
Wow-wee!

1528
01:00:07,776 --> 01:00:09,310
[Crash] Unh.

1529
01:00:09,377 --> 01:00:10,876
[Glass shatters]

1530
01:00:16,143 --> 01:00:20,477
[Chuckles] Oh, boy.
This is a Kodak moment.

1531
01:00:20,542 --> 01:00:22,176
Now, how was that one?

1532
01:00:22,243 --> 01:00:23,709
Bull's-eye!

1533
01:00:23,776 --> 01:00:25,043
Then give me a high one.

1534
01:00:25,110 --> 01:00:27,143
Let's see if you can hit this one.

1535
01:00:27,210 --> 01:00:30,876
Smile, Sparks.
You're on <i>Candid Camera</i>.

1536
01:00:32,110 --> 01:00:33,943
Ok, pull!

1537
01:00:34,010 --> 01:00:34,976
[Clicks]
Oh, shit.

1538
01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:41,242
Aah!

1539
01:00:45,508 --> 01:00:47,908
I still got him.

1540
01:00:47,975 --> 01:00:50,109
No! Shit. Great.

1541
01:00:50,175 --> 01:00:51,342
Just great.

1542
01:00:52,476 --> 01:00:54,442
That was awesome, man.

1543
01:00:54,508 --> 01:00:55,975
You sure can shoot.

1544
01:00:56,042 --> 01:00:57,142
My old man taught me.

1545
01:00:57,209 --> 01:00:59,708
My dad won't let me use it alone,

1546
01:00:59,775 --> 01:01:01,541
And he's too busy to teach me.

1547
01:01:01,608 --> 01:01:03,708
Your father's an important man,
you know.

1548
01:01:03,775 --> 01:01:06,075
Yeah, but you're important.

1549
01:01:06,142 --> 01:01:10,309
Yeah. I guess being important
and being a good father--

1550
01:01:10,376 --> 01:01:12,742
They just don't go together,
you know?

1551
01:01:12,808 --> 01:01:15,442
I bet Dean had a great
time when he was a kid

1552
01:01:15,508 --> 01:01:16,541
with you as his dad.

1553
01:01:26,575 --> 01:01:28,376
I don't think they're good for you.

1554
01:01:28,442 --> 01:01:30,075
I think they're gonna
find a study someday

1555
01:01:30,142 --> 01:01:31,275
that says it isn't.

1556
01:01:31,342 --> 01:01:33,376
Hey, girls.
How you doing?

1557
01:01:33,442 --> 01:01:35,842
Well, Mr. Sparks.
How are you today?

1558
01:01:35,908 --> 01:01:37,442
- I'm OK.
- Good.

1559
01:01:37,508 --> 01:01:39,775
Good. Mr. Sparks,
this is Agnes Farber.

1560
01:01:39,842 --> 01:01:40,808
How do you do?

1561
01:01:40,875 --> 01:01:42,808
And Helen Williams,
judge Williams' wife.

1562
01:01:42,875 --> 01:01:44,041
They're both on the board

1563
01:01:44,108 --> 01:01:46,574
of the save the rain forest
foundation with me.

1564
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:48,375
Oh, pleased to meet you.

1565
01:01:48,441 --> 01:01:51,475
Mr. Sparks, do you play bridge?

1566
01:01:51,540 --> 01:01:53,274
One of our friends
couldn't make it today.

1567
01:01:53,341 --> 01:01:55,108
We're looking for a fourth.

1568
01:01:55,174 --> 01:01:57,907
Oh. Well, I'll tell you--
I'm looking for a fifth.

1569
01:01:57,974 --> 01:01:59,174
[Giggles]

1570
01:01:59,241 --> 01:02:00,707
He's funny.

1571
01:02:00,774 --> 01:02:01,974
What do you girls play for?

1572
01:02:02,041 --> 01:02:03,308
Mrs. Williams:
A nickel a point.

1573
01:02:03,375 --> 01:02:05,741
Oh, I tell you-- I think
I can handle that...

1574
01:02:05,807 --> 01:02:09,941
as long as you girls
take it easy on me.

1575
01:02:10,008 --> 01:02:12,674
So, you're saving the rain forest,
huh?

1576
01:02:12,741 --> 01:02:16,941
Oh, yes. I love nature.
I am also a bird-watcher.

1577
01:02:17,008 --> 01:02:19,174
I love blue jays.
I love robins.

1578
01:02:19,241 --> 01:02:22,241
But most of all,
I <i>love</i> peacocks.

1579
01:02:22,308 --> 01:02:24,974
I'll bet you do.

1580
01:02:25,041 --> 01:02:27,907
So tell us, what is
your favorite bird?

1581
01:02:27,974 --> 01:02:29,674
My favorite bird, huh?

1582
01:02:31,341 --> 01:02:33,308
The swallow.

1583
01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:35,041
Lovely bird.

1584
01:02:35,108 --> 01:02:38,341
I haven't seen one of those
in the longest time.

1585
01:02:38,408 --> 01:02:40,741
I know.
They're almost extinct.

1586
01:02:40,807 --> 01:02:42,408
So, girls, what are you drinking?

1587
01:02:42,475 --> 01:02:44,008
Oh, iced tea.

1588
01:02:44,074 --> 01:02:46,141
Oh, did you ever have
Long Island iced tea?

1589
01:02:46,208 --> 01:02:47,741
- No.
- No.

1590
01:02:47,807 --> 01:02:49,807
Oh, really?

1591
01:02:49,874 --> 01:02:53,040
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

1592
01:02:53,107 --> 01:02:54,840
I got 2 4s.

1593
01:02:54,906 --> 01:02:57,706
I have a pair of aces.

1594
01:02:57,773 --> 01:02:58,773
Pair of aces?

1595
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:01,207
Hey, honey, don't flatter yourself,
will ya?

1596
01:03:01,273 --> 01:03:04,173
I haven't got anything.
What have you got, Wally?

1597
01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:06,639
I got a straight,
but I can't show it to you.

1598
01:03:12,073 --> 01:03:13,706
[Sniff sniff]
Hey, what am I smelling?

1599
01:03:13,773 --> 01:03:15,007
Whose perfume is that?

1600
01:03:15,073 --> 01:03:16,374
Oh, that's me, Wally.

1601
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:18,440
I'm wearing summer's mist.

1602
01:03:18,506 --> 01:03:20,773
Oh, I just love summer's mist.

1603
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:22,840
I put a dab behind each ear.

1604
01:03:22,906 --> 01:03:25,973
Drives the Governor crazy.

1605
01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:28,140
Hey, girls.
Want to attract men?

1606
01:03:28,207 --> 01:03:30,539
I'll tell you the best thing
to put behind your ears.

1607
01:03:30,606 --> 01:03:31,474
Your ankles.

1608
01:03:32,973 --> 01:03:35,140
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

1609
01:03:36,740 --> 01:03:40,573
Oh, you naughty boy.
Naughty boy.

1610
01:03:40,639 --> 01:03:42,806
Girls, I'm gonna run along.

1611
01:03:42,873 --> 01:03:45,639
I don't want to see what
gravity has done to you.

1612
01:03:45,706 --> 01:03:49,307
No, Wally. Don't go.
Stay and play, please?

1613
01:03:49,374 --> 01:03:51,706
Wally, Wally, you play the piano.

1614
01:03:53,407 --> 01:03:56,740
OK, girls.
Keep your brassieres on.

1615
01:03:56,806 --> 01:03:58,307
[Crack]

1616
01:04:10,039 --> 01:04:11,538
Whoo!

1617
01:04:11,605 --> 01:04:14,972
* Just take those
old records off the shelf *

1618
01:04:15,039 --> 01:04:19,239
* I'd sooner
listen to 'em by myself *

1619
01:04:19,306 --> 01:04:23,172
* Today's music
ain't got the same soul *

1620
01:04:23,239 --> 01:04:28,772
* I like that old-time
rock and roll *

1621
01:04:29,972 --> 01:04:31,839
Emily:
Play it, Wally.

1622
01:04:31,905 --> 01:04:33,206
Mrs. Farber:
That's right. Do it.

1623
01:04:33,272 --> 01:04:34,406
* Come on over, baby *

1624
01:04:34,473 --> 01:04:36,339
* Whole lotta shakin' goin' on *

1625
01:04:36,406 --> 01:04:38,272
* Whose boy? Your boy, my boy *

1626
01:04:38,339 --> 01:04:40,373
* Come on over, baby *

1627
01:04:40,439 --> 01:04:42,106
* Baby, you can't go wrong *

1628
01:04:42,172 --> 01:04:43,872
* Go wrong, go wrong, go wrong *

1629
01:04:43,939 --> 01:04:45,939
* We ain't fakin' *

1630
01:04:46,006 --> 01:04:49,839
* Whole lotta shakin' goin' on *

1631
01:04:49,905 --> 01:04:53,772
Oh, Wally, I just love
the way you play piano.

1632
01:04:53,839 --> 01:04:54,972
Aw, this is nothing.

1633
01:04:55,039 --> 01:04:57,373
You should see me play
my upright organ.

1634
01:04:57,439 --> 01:04:59,839
Oh, you rascal, you.
Ha ha ha.

1635
01:04:59,905 --> 01:05:02,172
One more time for Ronnie.

1636
01:05:02,239 --> 01:05:03,572
* Shake it, baby, shake it *

1637
01:05:04,872 --> 01:05:07,305
* Shake it, baby, shake it *

1638
01:05:07,372 --> 01:05:08,305
[Laughter]

1639
01:05:08,372 --> 01:05:09,438
Here we are.

1640
01:05:09,504 --> 01:05:11,904
We'll keep this meeting
as short as we can, sir.

1641
01:05:11,971 --> 01:05:12,971
My pleasure.

1642
01:05:13,038 --> 01:05:15,038
It's an honor to be able
to endorse a man

1643
01:05:15,105 --> 01:05:16,838
with such high family values.

1644
01:05:16,904 --> 01:05:17,838
Whoo!

1645
01:05:17,904 --> 01:05:19,305
* Shake it, baby, shake it *

1646
01:05:19,372 --> 01:05:20,438
Whoo! Whoo!

1647
01:05:20,504 --> 01:05:22,038
* Shake it, baby, shake it, baby *

1648
01:05:22,105 --> 01:05:24,205
* Come on, baby,
shake it and shake it *

1649
01:05:24,271 --> 01:05:25,571
* Come on over and shake it *

1650
01:05:25,637 --> 01:05:27,238
* Come on over *

1651
01:05:27,305 --> 01:05:29,405
* Come on, baby, shake it now *

1652
01:05:29,472 --> 01:05:31,637
Shake it, baby.
Shake it. Come on.

1653
01:05:31,704 --> 01:05:33,571
Wack-a, wack-a, wack-a.

1654
01:05:35,038 --> 01:05:37,372
Helen, stop that!

1655
01:05:37,438 --> 01:05:39,205
At once!

1656
01:05:42,537 --> 01:05:43,472
Aah!

1657
01:05:43,537 --> 01:05:44,571
[Thud]

1658
01:05:44,637 --> 01:05:45,604
Emily!

1659
01:05:45,671 --> 01:05:47,105
What in the name of Sam Hill

1660
01:05:47,171 --> 01:05:48,105
has come over you?

1661
01:05:48,171 --> 01:05:52,038
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

1662
01:05:52,105 --> 01:05:54,305
Hey, Governor, you can
take her upstairs.

1663
01:05:54,372 --> 01:05:55,571
She's ready now.

1664
01:05:55,637 --> 01:05:56,671
[Ladies laugh]

1665
01:06:02,871 --> 01:06:05,138
Honey, if I was with you right now,
I'd show you sex.

1666
01:06:05,205 --> 01:06:06,871
I'd give it to you real good.

1667
01:06:06,938 --> 01:06:11,105
Oh, what's that?
My 3 minutes are up, huh? OK.

1668
01:06:11,171 --> 01:06:12,571
[Door opens]

1669
01:06:12,637 --> 01:06:14,104
Mr. Sparks...

1670
01:06:16,037 --> 01:06:18,004
[Muttering]

1671
01:06:18,070 --> 01:06:20,237
I cannot take you in this house

1672
01:06:20,304 --> 01:06:21,371
one more night, sir.

1673
01:06:21,437 --> 01:06:22,937
Get that filthy mongrel

1674
01:06:23,004 --> 01:06:24,437
off my grandmother's settee!

1675
01:06:24,503 --> 01:06:27,503
Egypt.
Down, Egypt, down.

1676
01:06:27,570 --> 01:06:31,503
That horrible animal did his,
you know...

1677
01:06:32,870 --> 01:06:34,037
did his business

1678
01:06:34,104 --> 01:06:35,570
in my study again last night.

1679
01:06:35,636 --> 01:06:37,803
Hey, Governor, that's why
we call him Egypt.

1680
01:06:37,870 --> 01:06:39,404
Every room, he leaves a pyramid.

1681
01:06:39,471 --> 01:06:41,870
That animal is dangerous.

1682
01:06:41,937 --> 01:06:43,670
Oh, peach fuzz.

1683
01:06:43,737 --> 01:06:46,104
Are you kidding?
Egypt is harmless.

1684
01:06:46,170 --> 01:06:48,104
There's not an aggressive
bone in his body.

1685
01:06:51,803 --> 01:06:53,237
Well, maybe one.

1686
01:06:53,304 --> 01:06:56,437
Get this dog off me.

1687
01:06:56,503 --> 01:06:58,170
Egypt, cold shower.
Cold shower, Egypt.

1688
01:06:58,237 --> 01:06:59,937
For God's sake, man.

1689
01:07:00,004 --> 01:07:01,670
Why don't you mate that dog?

1690
01:07:01,737 --> 01:07:03,737
Mate him? Are you kidding?
I wouldn't mate him.

1691
01:07:03,803 --> 01:07:05,803
Let him go through
what I go through.

1692
01:07:05,870 --> 01:07:07,970
Mr. Sparks...

1693
01:07:08,037 --> 01:07:10,770
I am sorry that you
were hurt in my home,

1694
01:07:10,837 --> 01:07:13,503
but you have overstayed your welcome.

1695
01:07:13,570 --> 01:07:16,337
I want you out of here tomorrow.

1696
01:07:16,404 --> 01:07:19,004
I really appreciate everything
you've done for me, you know?

1697
01:07:19,070 --> 01:07:21,337
I owe you one.
And to prove it,

1698
01:07:21,404 --> 01:07:22,769
I'm gonna have you
as a guest on my show.

1699
01:07:22,836 --> 01:07:25,569
Ha ha. Have you taken leave
of your senses?

1700
01:07:25,635 --> 01:07:28,069
I'd rather roll in honey,
jump on an ant hill,

1701
01:07:28,136 --> 01:07:29,669
and walk barefoot across hot coals.

1702
01:07:29,736 --> 01:07:32,769
Sounds good, but we had a guy
do that last week.

1703
01:07:32,836 --> 01:07:34,436
Tomorrow!

1704
01:07:34,502 --> 01:07:35,502
Out!

1705
01:07:35,569 --> 01:07:37,869
Aw, come on, Governor.
Do the show, will you?

1706
01:07:37,936 --> 01:07:39,103
Robby would love it.

1707
01:07:39,169 --> 01:07:40,869
What are you doing talking to my son?

1708
01:07:40,936 --> 01:07:43,436
He's a good kid, Robby.
Smart kid. He loves you.

1709
01:07:43,502 --> 01:07:45,370
He just needs some attention,
that's all.

1710
01:07:45,436 --> 01:07:47,702
Don't tell me about my son.
I know my son.

1711
01:07:47,769 --> 01:07:51,370
You're a bad influence.
You stay away from him.

1712
01:07:51,436 --> 01:07:53,103
Oh, and another thing--

1713
01:07:53,169 --> 01:07:55,902
That-- That-- That son of yours

1714
01:07:55,969 --> 01:07:57,602
is taking my daughter
out on a date tonight.

1715
01:07:57,669 --> 01:07:59,502
I want her in bed by 12:00.

1716
01:07:59,569 --> 01:08:01,436
Don't worry about it, will you?

1717
01:08:01,502 --> 01:08:03,769
I know Dean. He'll have her
in bed by 10:00.

1718
01:08:05,569 --> 01:08:06,836
I--

1719
01:08:08,036 --> 01:08:09,169
Yeah.

1720
01:08:12,936 --> 01:08:14,802
I hate that man.

1721
01:08:21,203 --> 01:08:22,136
Hey, Wally,

1722
01:08:22,203 --> 01:08:24,969
Egypt found this wallet outside.

1723
01:08:25,036 --> 01:08:26,569
Oh, yeah?

1724
01:08:26,635 --> 01:08:28,069
Ooh, that's Miller!

1725
01:08:28,136 --> 01:08:30,068
Yeah, he must be down here
spying on me.

1726
01:08:30,135 --> 01:08:31,068
Who is he?

1727
01:08:31,135 --> 01:08:33,068
Well, he's not a fan of mine.

1728
01:08:33,135 --> 01:08:35,202
In fact, he can blow
the whole thing.

1729
01:08:35,268 --> 01:08:36,568
Yeah, well, don't worry, Wally.

1730
01:08:36,634 --> 01:08:38,335
With me and Egypt standing guard,

1731
01:08:38,402 --> 01:08:40,568
He won't get within
100 yards of this place.

1732
01:08:40,634 --> 01:08:42,302
Ha ha, you're all right.

1733
01:09:07,435 --> 01:09:08,302
Mmmf!

1734
01:09:29,268 --> 01:09:31,202
It's just I've heard
about you Southern women.

1735
01:09:31,268 --> 01:09:33,601
You have not heard a thing
about Southern women,

1736
01:09:33,668 --> 01:09:35,568
and you know it.

1737
01:09:35,634 --> 01:09:37,867
All right, now listen,
don't drive too fast, OK?

1738
01:09:37,934 --> 01:09:39,267
Hang on.

1739
01:09:40,468 --> 01:09:41,533
Here we go!

1740
01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:46,600
Aah!

1741
01:09:46,667 --> 01:09:48,234
Help!

1742
01:09:49,434 --> 01:09:51,767
Aah-ya! Aah-ya! Aah-ya!

1743
01:09:51,834 --> 01:09:55,700
Aah!

1744
01:09:55,767 --> 01:09:57,967
Yah-ouch!

1745
01:09:58,034 --> 01:09:59,234
Priscilla:
Whoo!

1746
01:09:59,301 --> 01:10:03,067
Aah!

1747
01:10:03,134 --> 01:10:04,800
Oof!

1748
01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:07,734
[Whimpering]

1749
01:10:10,067 --> 01:10:11,001
[Chirping]

1750
01:10:11,067 --> 01:10:12,334
[Whispering]
Wally? Psst.

1751
01:10:12,401 --> 01:10:14,134
Wally? Wally?

1752
01:10:14,201 --> 01:10:15,134
Hey, Joey, up here.

1753
01:10:15,201 --> 01:10:16,468
What the hell you doing up there?

1754
01:10:16,533 --> 01:10:17,468
Come on, let's go.

1755
01:10:17,533 --> 01:10:18,734
I'll be right down.

1756
01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:21,234
[Squeaking]

1757
01:10:21,301 --> 01:10:23,667
Hey, what's going on here?

1758
01:10:23,734 --> 01:10:26,067
Hey! Where did you come from?

1759
01:10:26,134 --> 01:10:27,267
Get out of here, will you?

1760
01:10:27,334 --> 01:10:28,967
Hey, buy me a drink first!

1761
01:10:29,034 --> 01:10:30,134
Will you quit the clowning?

1762
01:10:30,201 --> 01:10:31,600
Oh, ooh!

1763
01:10:31,667 --> 01:10:33,500
Go find your own nuts,
will you?

1764
01:10:33,567 --> 01:10:34,934
Hey, hey, what?

1765
01:10:35,001 --> 01:10:36,201
[Crunch]
Ow!

1766
01:10:37,401 --> 01:10:38,934
He's dead.

1767
01:10:39,001 --> 01:10:41,201
Are you all right?

1768
01:10:41,267 --> 01:10:42,867
What were you doing?

1769
01:10:42,934 --> 01:10:43,934
That squirrel,

1770
01:10:44,001 --> 01:10:46,899
he was after my macadamias.

1771
01:10:46,966 --> 01:10:48,666
Did you remember
to bring my disguise?

1772
01:10:48,733 --> 01:10:49,699
It's in the car.

1773
01:10:49,766 --> 01:10:50,699
Harvey:
Governor?

1774
01:10:50,766 --> 01:10:51,833
Shh!

1775
01:10:51,899 --> 01:10:54,833
Governor:
Harvey, come in here right away!

1776
01:10:54,899 --> 01:10:57,333
Close that door!

1777
01:10:57,400 --> 01:11:00,166
What was so urgent that you
needed to see me, sir?

1778
01:11:00,233 --> 01:11:02,166
Well, here it is, Harvey.

1779
01:11:02,233 --> 01:11:03,666
I'm being blackmailed.

1780
01:11:03,733 --> 01:11:04,666
What?

1781
01:11:04,733 --> 01:11:06,499
I received a fax and a telephone call

1782
01:11:06,566 --> 01:11:08,499
telling me that if I
don't do what they say

1783
01:11:08,566 --> 01:11:09,699
and pull out of the race,

1784
01:11:09,766 --> 01:11:11,300
they're going to go public with this.

1785
01:11:11,367 --> 01:11:13,333
They say that they have proof

1786
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:16,033
of my having had sex
in a motel with a stripper!

1787
01:11:16,100 --> 01:11:17,367
Harvey:
Proof?

1788
01:11:17,433 --> 01:11:18,699
What kind of proof?

1789
01:11:18,766 --> 01:11:19,699
I don't know.

1790
01:11:19,766 --> 01:11:20,733
Well, that's ridiculous.

1791
01:11:20,799 --> 01:11:21,733
I'm innocent.

1792
01:11:21,799 --> 01:11:22,833
Of course you are.

1793
01:11:22,899 --> 01:11:24,699
It's my word against theirs.

1794
01:11:24,766 --> 01:11:26,467
Absolutely.

1795
01:11:31,433 --> 01:11:34,799
I've never seen that woman
before in my life!

1796
01:11:36,766 --> 01:11:38,033
How do you like that?

1797
01:11:38,100 --> 01:11:40,000
The Governor's got a little
something extra on the side.

1798
01:11:40,066 --> 01:11:41,666
Be quiet.
I want to hear this.

1799
01:11:41,733 --> 01:11:42,632
Damn!

1800
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:47,166
Well, it does take two to tango,
sir.

1801
01:11:47,233 --> 01:11:49,233
That's a conspiracy, Harvey!

1802
01:11:49,300 --> 01:11:51,333
You believe me, don't you?

1803
01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:52,865
Damn it!

1804
01:11:52,932 --> 01:11:54,232
Well, sir, a stripper says

1805
01:11:54,299 --> 01:11:55,732
she had sex with you
in a motel room,

1806
01:11:55,798 --> 01:11:57,232
and then there's this
photo of you naked

1807
01:11:57,299 --> 01:11:58,932
in bed with a naked woman,

1808
01:11:58,999 --> 01:12:01,832
whom you say you never saw.

1809
01:12:04,898 --> 01:12:07,032
Yes, sir.

1810
01:12:07,099 --> 01:12:08,798
Yes, sir, I--

1811
01:12:08,865 --> 01:12:11,165
I believe you.

1812
01:12:12,598 --> 01:12:16,432
[Music plays]

1813
01:12:16,498 --> 01:12:18,598
* You don't care for me *

1814
01:12:18,665 --> 01:12:20,698
* I don't care about that *

1815
01:12:20,765 --> 01:12:22,232
* You got a new fool *

1816
01:12:22,299 --> 01:12:24,165
* Ha! I like it like that *

1817
01:12:24,232 --> 01:12:28,865
* I have only one burning desire *

1818
01:12:28,932 --> 01:12:32,199
* Let me stand next to your fire... *

1819
01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:34,265
Hey, he's pretty good, huh?

1820
01:12:34,332 --> 01:12:35,432
Yeah, terrific.

1821
01:12:35,498 --> 01:12:37,432
Can we get out of here
before we get caught?

1822
01:12:37,498 --> 01:12:38,765
I know it's a risk,

1823
01:12:38,832 --> 01:12:40,366
But I had to see Dean's band.

1824
01:12:40,432 --> 01:12:43,199
* Let me stand next to your fire *

1825
01:12:43,265 --> 01:12:45,399
* Let me stand *

1826
01:12:45,466 --> 01:12:50,199
* Let me stand *

1827
01:12:50,265 --> 01:12:53,165
[Applause and cheering]

1828
01:12:58,232 --> 01:13:01,164
Imagine, my son
and the Governor's daughter.

1829
01:13:01,231 --> 01:13:02,298
Joey:
Yeah, they're adorable.

1830
01:13:02,365 --> 01:13:03,897
But he ain't going to be
Governor much longer

1831
01:13:03,964 --> 01:13:05,231
if those pictures come out.

1832
01:13:05,298 --> 01:13:07,797
I can't understand the Governor
getting into that position

1833
01:13:07,864 --> 01:13:08,797
with a stripper.

1834
01:13:08,864 --> 01:13:10,298
I didn't see the pictures.

1835
01:13:10,365 --> 01:13:11,797
What position was he in?

1836
01:13:11,864 --> 01:13:14,964
[Panting]

1837
01:13:20,497 --> 01:13:22,365
OK.

1838
01:13:30,431 --> 01:13:33,231
Miller:
Mm-hmm.

1839
01:13:51,198 --> 01:13:53,431
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.

1840
01:13:56,398 --> 01:13:57,731
Aha!

1841
01:13:57,797 --> 01:13:59,530
Ahh.

1842
01:14:02,431 --> 01:14:04,365
I got you now, Sparks.

1843
01:14:04,431 --> 01:14:05,864
Ok.

1844
01:14:05,931 --> 01:14:07,365
Emily.

1845
01:14:07,431 --> 01:14:08,297
Yes?

1846
01:14:09,430 --> 01:14:11,030
I love you.

1847
01:14:11,097 --> 01:14:12,830
Well, I love you, too, Floyd.

1848
01:14:14,896 --> 01:14:15,796
Yes!

1849
01:14:18,230 --> 01:14:20,730
[Buzzes]

1850
01:14:20,796 --> 01:14:22,364
Wait, honey, don't.

1851
01:14:22,430 --> 01:14:24,130
I'll get it.

1852
01:14:24,197 --> 01:14:25,796
I hate that man.

1853
01:14:27,696 --> 01:14:29,130
Yes, Mr. Sparks.

1854
01:14:29,197 --> 01:14:31,629
The Governor will be right up.

1855
01:14:35,763 --> 01:14:36,896
[Grr rrr]

1856
01:14:36,963 --> 01:14:38,330
Ooh.

1857
01:14:38,397 --> 01:14:39,596
[Barks]

1858
01:14:39,663 --> 01:14:40,596
You want a cookie?

1859
01:14:40,663 --> 01:14:41,896
[Barks]

1860
01:14:41,963 --> 01:14:42,896
[Grr]
OK, no cookie.

1861
01:14:42,963 --> 01:14:44,297
OK, OK, OK.

1862
01:14:44,364 --> 01:14:45,730
You're a good doggie.

1863
01:14:45,796 --> 01:14:46,796
[Barks]

1864
01:14:46,863 --> 01:14:47,830
Aah!

1865
01:14:49,464 --> 01:14:50,763
[Barks]

1866
01:14:50,830 --> 01:14:52,263
Aah! Ow! I'm OK.

1867
01:14:52,330 --> 01:14:53,397
[Barks]

1868
01:14:53,464 --> 01:14:54,696
Good doggie.

1869
01:14:54,763 --> 01:14:56,563
[Barks]

1870
01:14:56,629 --> 01:14:57,763
[Barks]

1871
01:14:57,830 --> 01:14:59,896
So long, sucker!
Ha ha ha ha!

1872
01:14:59,963 --> 01:15:00,896
[Grr]

1873
01:15:00,963 --> 01:15:02,263
No, no, doggie!

1874
01:15:02,330 --> 01:15:04,796
[Grr]

1875
01:15:04,863 --> 01:15:05,796
Aah.

1876
01:15:05,863 --> 01:15:07,896
[Grr]

1877
01:15:07,963 --> 01:15:09,263
Let go of the tie!

1878
01:15:09,330 --> 01:15:11,030
[Grr]
Pull me in!

1879
01:15:11,097 --> 01:15:12,030
Good doggie.

1880
01:15:12,097 --> 01:15:14,063
[Grr]
Let go of my--!

1881
01:15:14,130 --> 01:15:15,562
[Grr]

1882
01:15:15,628 --> 01:15:16,595
[Grr]

1883
01:15:16,662 --> 01:15:18,329
Hey, kid, pull me in!

1884
01:15:18,396 --> 01:15:20,029
Pull me in! Aah!

1885
01:15:20,096 --> 01:15:21,029
Speak.

1886
01:15:21,096 --> 01:15:22,196
[Barks]

1887
01:15:22,262 --> 01:15:25,062
Aah!

1888
01:15:26,363 --> 01:15:27,996
[Barks]

1889
01:15:30,996 --> 01:15:32,695
Bad doggie.

1890
01:15:32,762 --> 01:15:33,962
Mr. Sparks, this is not a hotel!

1891
01:15:34,029 --> 01:15:35,729
Come on, Egypt.

1892
01:15:35,795 --> 01:15:37,962
And if it were,
room service would be closed!

1893
01:15:38,029 --> 01:15:39,695
Stay under there.
Good boy.

1894
01:15:43,528 --> 01:15:46,595
Yes, what is it, Mr. Sparks?

1895
01:15:46,662 --> 01:15:48,795
[Imitates Wally]
Hey, Governor,

1896
01:15:48,862 --> 01:15:51,829
I thought I needed your help
using the John.

1897
01:15:51,895 --> 01:15:53,463
Lucky for you, it was just gas.

1898
01:15:53,528 --> 01:15:54,595
[Dog passes gas]

1899
01:15:54,662 --> 01:15:56,962
Robby:
Hoo, pardon me.

1900
01:15:57,029 --> 01:15:57,895
Night.

1901
01:16:00,196 --> 01:16:02,229
You know, you've got
a really big house.

1902
01:16:02,296 --> 01:16:04,329
Shh, you want to wake everybody up?

1903
01:16:04,396 --> 01:16:07,262
Well, frankly, my dear,
I don't give a--

1904
01:16:11,262 --> 01:16:12,595
Damn.

1905
01:16:12,662 --> 01:16:14,495
Woof-ooh.

1906
01:16:14,562 --> 01:16:16,562
You know,
I think we're doing pretty good.

1907
01:16:16,628 --> 01:16:19,062
We've known each other 2 days,

1908
01:16:19,129 --> 01:16:20,996
and we're already living together.

1909
01:16:25,028 --> 01:16:26,362
Priscilla?

1910
01:16:26,428 --> 01:16:28,861
Y'all realize what time it is?

1911
01:16:28,928 --> 01:16:30,828
Sorry, daddy.

1912
01:16:30,894 --> 01:16:34,494
We were just saying good night.

1913
01:16:34,561 --> 01:16:36,261
Good night, Governor.

1914
01:16:36,328 --> 01:16:37,995
Night.

1915
01:16:39,561 --> 01:16:41,995
Oh, daddy, so much happened tonight.

1916
01:16:42,061 --> 01:16:43,328
I just saw Dean's--

1917
01:16:43,395 --> 01:16:46,527
Priscilla, I forbid this
relationship to continue.

1918
01:16:46,594 --> 01:16:48,527
Oh, daddy, I'm an adult.

1919
01:16:48,594 --> 01:16:50,328
You don't get to forbid anything.

1920
01:16:50,395 --> 01:16:51,861
Priscilla, don't you understand,
darling?

1921
01:16:51,928 --> 01:16:53,828
That boy doesn't care
anything about you.

1922
01:16:53,894 --> 01:16:56,362
They're using you to get at me.

1923
01:16:56,428 --> 01:16:58,028
Oh, how stupid of me

1924
01:16:58,095 --> 01:17:00,794
to think anyone could
actually be interested in me.

1925
01:17:00,861 --> 01:17:02,527
Oh, darling, I didn't mean--

1926
01:17:02,594 --> 01:17:03,928
Baby doll.

1927
01:17:06,061 --> 01:17:07,728
Wally:
We got to get the blackmail pictures,

1928
01:17:07,794 --> 01:17:09,195
find out who the chick is.

1929
01:17:09,261 --> 01:17:10,527
Joey, I know people.

1930
01:17:10,594 --> 01:17:13,527
The Governor doesn't play around.

1931
01:17:13,594 --> 01:17:16,028
You sure you can get
back inside all right?

1932
01:17:16,095 --> 01:17:17,028
Yeah, yeah.

1933
01:17:17,095 --> 01:17:19,061
Robby left a ladder for me.

1934
01:17:19,128 --> 01:17:19,995
Be careful.

1935
01:17:21,462 --> 01:17:23,861
You Southern gentlemen are so charming,

1936
01:17:23,928 --> 01:17:25,395
so chivalrous.

1937
01:17:25,462 --> 01:17:28,395
I do believe you would never deny

1938
01:17:28,462 --> 01:17:30,462
a woman her desires.

1939
01:17:30,526 --> 01:17:31,461
Desires?

1940
01:17:31,526 --> 01:17:33,194
Mmm. But first,

1941
01:17:33,260 --> 01:17:36,660
I just have one special request.

1942
01:17:40,793 --> 01:17:41,827
You idiot.

1943
01:17:41,893 --> 01:17:43,693
What? Ooh.

1944
01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:45,294
Mmm.

1945
01:17:46,427 --> 01:17:47,361
Mmm.

1946
01:17:47,427 --> 01:17:48,361
Mmm.

1947
01:17:48,427 --> 01:17:49,960
Mmm.

1948
01:17:55,394 --> 01:17:57,260
Oh, beautiful.

1949
01:18:29,693 --> 01:18:30,626
Ooh!

1950
01:18:30,693 --> 01:18:32,593
Emily?

1951
01:18:32,660 --> 01:18:33,626
Is that you?

1952
01:18:33,693 --> 01:18:34,893
Who are you?

1953
01:18:37,693 --> 01:18:39,326
Great-great-granddaddy,

1954
01:18:39,393 --> 01:18:40,460
is that you?

1955
01:18:40,525 --> 01:18:42,592
[Old man's voice]
Yes, it's me, Floyd.

1956
01:18:42,659 --> 01:18:44,592
It's your great-great-granddaddy.

1957
01:18:44,659 --> 01:18:45,892
Ooooh...

1958
01:18:45,959 --> 01:18:47,293
what are you doing here?

1959
01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:48,959
I'm here to help you, Floyd.

1960
01:18:49,026 --> 01:18:51,460
But first, you must answer
an important question.

1961
01:18:51,525 --> 01:18:53,059
Yes, sir, anything.

1962
01:18:53,126 --> 01:18:55,059
Did you slide your saber

1963
01:18:55,126 --> 01:18:57,059
into that modern-day Jezebel?

1964
01:18:57,126 --> 01:18:58,559
No, sir, I did not.

1965
01:18:58,625 --> 01:19:00,159
How do you know about that stripper?

1966
01:19:00,226 --> 01:19:01,792
Up here, Floyd,

1967
01:19:01,859 --> 01:19:03,792
bad news travels fast.

1968
01:19:03,859 --> 01:19:06,159
Now, Floyd, you want to be Senator.

1969
01:19:06,226 --> 01:19:09,026
There's one thing
you must do to be Senator.

1970
01:19:09,093 --> 01:19:12,326
You must appear on
<i>The Wally Sparks Show</i>.

1971
01:19:12,393 --> 01:19:15,159
No! He's an obnoxious buffoon.

1972
01:19:15,226 --> 01:19:17,159
Shut up, and you listen

1973
01:19:17,226 --> 01:19:18,926
to your great-great-granddaddy.

1974
01:19:18,993 --> 01:19:21,159
I want you to pray, Floyd.

1975
01:19:21,226 --> 01:19:22,525
Pray. Pray?

1976
01:19:22,592 --> 01:19:24,726
No peeking.

1977
01:19:24,792 --> 01:19:27,059
Repeat after me.
I pledge allegiance...

1978
01:19:27,126 --> 01:19:28,059
I pledge allegiance...

1979
01:19:28,126 --> 01:19:29,193
to the flag...

1980
01:19:29,259 --> 01:19:30,625
to the flag of
the United States of America.

1981
01:19:30,692 --> 01:19:31,659
[Toilet flushes]

1982
01:19:31,726 --> 01:19:33,492
And to the Republic
for which it stands,

1983
01:19:33,559 --> 01:19:35,193
one nation, under God, indivisible,

1984
01:19:35,259 --> 01:19:37,159
With Liberty and Justice for all.

1985
01:19:37,226 --> 01:19:39,026
I pledge allegiance to the flag

1986
01:19:39,093 --> 01:19:40,792
of the United States of America,

1987
01:19:40,859 --> 01:19:42,525
- ...and to the Republic...
- Floyd?

1988
01:19:42,592 --> 01:19:43,926
Floyd, darling?

1989
01:19:43,993 --> 01:19:45,426
Floyd, you're being patriotic

1990
01:19:45,492 --> 01:19:47,292
in your sleep again.

1991
01:19:47,359 --> 01:19:48,292
I'm sorry.

1992
01:19:48,359 --> 01:19:50,292
Emily, you'll never guess
who was here.

1993
01:19:50,359 --> 01:19:51,624
Great-great-granddaddy.

1994
01:19:51,691 --> 01:19:53,624
Oh, Floyd, don't talk crazy.
You were dreaming.

1995
01:19:53,691 --> 01:19:55,192
I'm not talking crazy.

1996
01:19:55,258 --> 01:19:56,691
Great-great-granddaddy was here.

1997
01:19:56,758 --> 01:19:58,624
If I say he was here,
he was here.

1998
01:19:58,691 --> 01:20:00,425
Please place your napkin in your lap.

1999
01:20:00,491 --> 01:20:02,192
Why? I'm not going
to spill nothing.

2000
01:20:02,258 --> 01:20:03,359
Do what your mother--

2001
01:20:03,425 --> 01:20:04,825
Excuse me, please.
May I have your attention?

2002
01:20:04,891 --> 01:20:07,491
There's something I have to say.

2003
01:20:07,558 --> 01:20:09,725
You will not believe
the latest polls.

2004
01:20:09,791 --> 01:20:11,958
Wally Sparks is saving our hide.

2005
01:20:12,025 --> 01:20:12,958
Especially since

2006
01:20:13,025 --> 01:20:15,359
you finally decided
to do his show.

2007
01:20:15,425 --> 01:20:16,591
Oh, dear.

2008
01:20:16,658 --> 01:20:18,459
You're going to be
on Wally's show?!

2009
01:20:18,524 --> 01:20:19,524
Awesome!

2010
01:20:19,591 --> 01:20:21,359
Is that what you wanted to tell us,
dear?

2011
01:20:21,425 --> 01:20:22,359
Aah!

2012
01:20:22,425 --> 01:20:24,192
You lying,

2013
01:20:24,258 --> 01:20:26,225
conniving, son of a--

2014
01:20:26,292 --> 01:20:27,725
Sparks, you poltroon!

2015
01:20:27,791 --> 01:20:29,725
You announce it in the paper.

2016
01:20:29,791 --> 01:20:31,225
So if I don't do it,

2017
01:20:31,292 --> 01:20:32,925
it looks like I'm afraid
to face you on the air.

2018
01:20:32,992 --> 01:20:35,725
Well, you may have backed me
into a corner this time,

2019
01:20:35,791 --> 01:20:37,225
but let me tell you something.

2020
01:20:37,292 --> 01:20:39,758
The second this show is over,

2021
01:20:39,825 --> 01:20:43,325
you and your entire
3-ring circus are history!

2022
01:20:43,392 --> 01:20:46,791
Hey, doesn't anybody
ever knock around here?

2023
01:20:46,858 --> 01:20:49,325
[Whinnies]

2024
01:20:49,392 --> 01:20:51,125
Preston:
Well, that's it, Randal.

2025
01:20:51,192 --> 01:20:52,158
I feel trapped.

2026
01:20:52,225 --> 01:20:53,657
On the one hand, the boys at the lab

2027
01:20:53,724 --> 01:20:55,091
tell me those pictures are real.

2028
01:20:55,157 --> 01:20:56,991
There's no hint of doctoring
on those photos.

2029
01:20:57,057 --> 01:21:00,024
So if I challenge these people,
whoever they are,

2030
01:21:00,091 --> 01:21:01,824
My family might be more humiliated

2031
01:21:01,890 --> 01:21:03,490
than they already have been.

2032
01:21:03,557 --> 01:21:05,324
On the other hand, if I back out,

2033
01:21:05,391 --> 01:21:08,523
those people are just
going to walk all over me.

2034
01:21:08,590 --> 01:21:09,824
And worse,

2035
01:21:09,890 --> 01:21:12,191
backing out might look like
an admission of guilt.

2036
01:21:12,257 --> 01:21:13,191
Damn!

2037
01:21:13,257 --> 01:21:15,191
Floyd, the election is next Tuesday.

2038
01:21:15,257 --> 01:21:17,358
Now, by the time you can
prove your innocence,

2039
01:21:17,424 --> 01:21:18,724
you'll already have lost it.

2040
01:21:18,790 --> 01:21:20,724
And if you can't
prove your innocence,

2041
01:21:20,790 --> 01:21:23,657
you might even lose
your Governor's position.

2042
01:21:24,924 --> 01:21:26,358
Back out.

2043
01:21:26,424 --> 01:21:28,091
Don't you think I'll seem weak

2044
01:21:28,157 --> 01:21:29,924
if I don't fight all this?

2045
01:21:29,991 --> 01:21:31,091
Not at all.

2046
01:21:31,157 --> 01:21:33,358
I'd do the same thing
if I were in your position.

2047
01:21:33,424 --> 01:21:35,191
You have to do what's best

2048
01:21:35,257 --> 01:21:36,857
for Emily and the children.

2049
01:21:36,924 --> 01:21:39,358
You just gave me the same
answer that I arrived at.

2050
01:21:39,424 --> 01:21:41,790
I didn't want to hear it
from either of us.

2051
01:21:41,857 --> 01:21:43,790
Thank you, Randal.

2052
01:21:43,857 --> 01:21:45,890
When will you do it?

2053
01:21:45,957 --> 01:21:47,490
Well...

2054
01:21:47,557 --> 01:21:49,191
Ha ha ha!

2055
01:21:49,257 --> 01:21:51,657
I thought I'd do it tonight...

2056
01:21:53,957 --> 01:21:56,024
on the Sparks Show.

2057
01:21:56,091 --> 01:22:00,024
Wally: Why don't the Governor
just tell the truth?

2058
01:22:00,091 --> 01:22:01,756
If he's innocent,
the people will believe him.

2059
01:22:01,823 --> 01:22:03,522
Because he doesn't want this photo

2060
01:22:03,589 --> 01:22:05,390
plastered all over every
newspaper in the country,

2061
01:22:05,457 --> 01:22:06,390
that's why.

2062
01:22:06,457 --> 01:22:07,522
Let us help you.

2063
01:22:07,589 --> 01:22:08,723
We'll find out who the chick is,

2064
01:22:08,789 --> 01:22:09,923
and we'll put her on the show.

2065
01:22:09,990 --> 01:22:12,656
No. The Governor wants
this affair to go away

2066
01:22:12,723 --> 01:22:14,123
as quietly as possible.

2067
01:22:14,190 --> 01:22:15,689
Oh, so someone else can set him up

2068
01:22:15,756 --> 01:22:17,090
and blackmail him all over again.

2069
01:22:17,156 --> 01:22:20,123
Please, just let the Governor
make his statement.

2070
01:22:20,190 --> 01:22:22,423
Say anything about the stripper,

2071
01:22:22,489 --> 01:22:24,390
and he walks.

2072
01:22:25,789 --> 01:22:27,889
Oh, Harvey,

2073
01:22:27,956 --> 01:22:30,923
now, you don't really mean that,
do you?

2074
01:22:30,990 --> 01:22:32,956
Yes, I do.

2075
01:22:34,156 --> 01:22:36,090
You got it?

2076
01:22:36,156 --> 01:22:37,357
Got it.

2077
01:22:40,489 --> 01:22:42,423
She looks familiar.

2078
01:22:42,489 --> 01:22:44,423
They all look familiar to you, hon.

2079
01:22:44,489 --> 01:22:46,423
[Knock on door]

2080
01:22:46,489 --> 01:22:48,123
Wally:
Oh, Miller.

2081
01:22:48,190 --> 01:22:50,723
Well, what a pleasant surprise.

2082
01:22:50,789 --> 01:22:53,457
I came to offer my congratulations.

2083
01:22:53,522 --> 01:22:54,956
You won, Sparks.

2084
01:22:55,023 --> 01:22:57,956
I didn't think you could do it.

2085
01:22:58,023 --> 01:23:00,956
And Mr. Spencer wanted me
to come personally

2086
01:23:01,023 --> 01:23:03,457
and hand you your new contracts.

2087
01:23:03,522 --> 01:23:06,357
I'm afraid you're going
to have to pick them up,

2088
01:23:06,423 --> 01:23:07,357
You know.

2089
01:23:07,423 --> 01:23:08,855
Oh, right, I forgot.

2090
01:23:08,922 --> 01:23:10,222
You can't walk.

2091
01:23:10,289 --> 01:23:11,356
Right.

2092
01:23:11,422 --> 01:23:13,955
So how long do the doctors
think it'll take?

2093
01:23:14,022 --> 01:23:16,688
Oh, a few weeks, a few months.

2094
01:23:16,755 --> 01:23:17,688
A year.

2095
01:23:17,755 --> 01:23:19,189
A few years.

2096
01:23:19,255 --> 01:23:20,788
Wow, look at that chick.
What an ass.

2097
01:23:20,855 --> 01:23:22,456
Ooh, where, where?

2098
01:23:22,521 --> 01:23:23,989
Aha, I got you!

2099
01:23:24,055 --> 01:23:25,521
I knew you were faking it.

2100
01:23:25,588 --> 01:23:28,222
I caught you.
I caught you!

2101
01:23:28,289 --> 01:23:29,422
Ohh-hoo, yeah!

2102
01:23:29,488 --> 01:23:31,722
Hallelujah!
Praise the Lord!

2103
01:23:31,788 --> 01:23:33,089
You can walk again!

2104
01:23:33,155 --> 01:23:34,488
Hey, I can walk!
It's a miracle!

2105
01:23:34,555 --> 01:23:36,122
No, no, no, no!
This is no miracle.

2106
01:23:36,189 --> 01:23:37,422
You are a fake,

2107
01:23:37,488 --> 01:23:38,989
a phony.
You are a charlatan!

2108
01:23:39,055 --> 01:23:40,989
All right, Miller, what do you want?

2109
01:23:41,055 --> 01:23:42,322
What do I want?

2110
01:23:42,389 --> 01:23:44,488
I want your head on a stick.

2111
01:23:44,555 --> 01:23:46,655
I want your neck in a noose.

2112
01:23:46,722 --> 01:23:48,822
Hey, you're trying to
make up with me, huh?

2113
01:23:48,888 --> 01:23:50,989
I want to see that you never work

2114
01:23:51,055 --> 01:23:52,922
in broadcasting ever again!

2115
01:23:54,389 --> 01:23:55,488
Ah, miss Preston.

2116
01:23:55,555 --> 01:23:56,488
You've been had.

2117
01:23:56,555 --> 01:23:58,155
They've been deceiving your family

2118
01:23:58,222 --> 01:23:59,722
the whole time.

2119
01:23:59,788 --> 01:24:01,422
He was never hurt.

2120
01:24:01,488 --> 01:24:03,422
Is it true?
Did you know he was faking it?

2121
01:24:03,488 --> 01:24:04,688
Look, Priscilla, I'm sorry.

2122
01:24:04,755 --> 01:24:06,521
Oh, daddy was right.

2123
01:24:06,588 --> 01:24:08,122
Thanks a lot, dad.

2124
01:24:08,189 --> 01:24:09,322
Dean.

2125
01:24:09,389 --> 01:24:10,888
Ah.

2126
01:24:10,955 --> 01:24:13,521
I guess now is the perfect time

2127
01:24:13,588 --> 01:24:15,922
for me to call Mr. Spencer

2128
01:24:15,989 --> 01:24:18,921
and put an end to your sleazy career,
huh?

2129
01:24:18,988 --> 01:24:20,620
You ain't going anywhere,
pretty boy.

2130
01:24:20,687 --> 01:24:22,321
You ain't even pretty anymore.

2131
01:24:22,388 --> 01:24:23,321
Robby:
Remember me?

2132
01:24:23,388 --> 01:24:24,520
Hey, that's my wallet!

2133
01:24:24,587 --> 01:24:25,687
Wally:
Grab him.

2134
01:24:25,754 --> 01:24:31,321
* Why do we stand on the roses? *

2135
01:24:31,388 --> 01:24:34,554
Yoo-hoo, Mr. Sparks?

2136
01:24:34,620 --> 01:24:36,554
Yo, what do you want?

2137
01:24:36,620 --> 01:24:38,554
Oh, there's a phone call

2138
01:24:38,620 --> 01:24:40,054
for Mr. Sparks on line 2.

2139
01:24:40,121 --> 01:24:41,054
Miller:
Somebody help me!

2140
01:24:41,121 --> 01:24:42,587
Is everything all right in there?

2141
01:24:42,654 --> 01:24:45,021
Yeah. Wally is just having
his physical therapy.

2142
01:24:45,088 --> 01:24:47,687
Oh. Is there anything
I can do to help?

2143
01:24:47,754 --> 01:24:48,687
Um...

2144
01:24:48,754 --> 01:24:50,554
Robby, look who's here.

2145
01:24:50,620 --> 01:24:51,554
Mom!

2146
01:24:51,620 --> 01:24:52,887
Miller:
Help!

2147
01:24:52,954 --> 01:24:54,121
Wally wants you to roast him a turkey.

2148
01:24:54,188 --> 01:24:55,388
A whole turkey?

2149
01:24:55,455 --> 01:24:57,554
No, you're not going to
get way with it this time.

2150
01:24:57,620 --> 01:24:59,021
I'm warning you, Sparks.
I'm warn--

2151
01:24:59,088 --> 01:25:01,921
That's the only way to shut him up.

2152
01:25:01,988 --> 01:25:02,921
I know her.

2153
01:25:02,988 --> 01:25:04,388
She's so familiar to me.

2154
01:25:04,455 --> 01:25:05,887
I just can't place her.

2155
01:25:05,954 --> 01:25:07,321
I knew it.
I knew I knew her.

2156
01:25:07,388 --> 01:25:08,587
Now I know where I know her from.

2157
01:25:08,654 --> 01:25:09,587
Where do you know her from?

2158
01:25:09,654 --> 01:25:10,587
Wally?

2159
01:25:10,654 --> 01:25:11,587
I'm busy now.

2160
01:25:11,654 --> 01:25:13,088
Where do you know her from?

2161
01:25:13,154 --> 01:25:14,254
It's her!

2162
01:25:14,321 --> 01:25:17,188
She wants to meet with Wally alone.

2163
01:25:34,153 --> 01:25:35,853
Wally:
Oh, it's you.

2164
01:25:35,920 --> 01:25:38,120
I thought you don't
believe in casual sex.

2165
01:25:38,187 --> 01:25:41,153
I never had sex with the Governor.

2166
01:25:41,220 --> 01:25:42,586
He was set up.

2167
01:25:42,653 --> 01:25:44,120
They slipped him a Mickey,

2168
01:25:44,187 --> 01:25:46,320
and while he was unconscious,

2169
01:25:46,387 --> 01:25:48,320
I took off my clothes,

2170
01:25:48,387 --> 01:25:51,287
and I posed for
those pictures with him.

2171
01:25:51,354 --> 01:25:54,053
Then why are you saying it now?

2172
01:25:54,120 --> 01:25:57,120
Because I can't live with the guilt.

2173
01:25:57,187 --> 01:25:58,120
I told you

2174
01:25:58,187 --> 01:26:00,253
I'm an actress, Mr. Sparks.

2175
01:26:00,320 --> 01:26:02,253
But I don't want to become famous

2176
01:26:02,320 --> 01:26:04,619
for ruining the lives
of an innocent man

2177
01:26:04,686 --> 01:26:05,953
and his family.

2178
01:26:06,020 --> 01:26:07,786
I want to do wholesome projects,

2179
01:26:07,853 --> 01:26:09,220
like Disney movies.

2180
01:26:09,287 --> 01:26:11,220
Well, how come you want to see me?

2181
01:26:11,287 --> 01:26:14,653
Because I want to go on
your show tonight,

2182
01:26:14,720 --> 01:26:16,920
and I want to tell the truth.

2183
01:26:16,987 --> 01:26:18,553
I want to do the right thing,

2184
01:26:18,619 --> 01:26:20,253
And I want to clear the Governor's name

2185
01:26:20,320 --> 01:26:21,820
in front of the whole country.

2186
01:26:21,886 --> 01:26:23,120
[Wally's theme music plays]

2187
01:26:23,187 --> 01:26:25,454
3, 2, 1.

2188
01:26:25,519 --> 01:26:26,454
Hiya, folks.

2189
01:26:26,519 --> 01:26:28,253
Tonight you're going to see

2190
01:26:28,320 --> 01:26:30,153
a different kind of
<i>Wally Sparks Show</i>.

2191
01:26:30,220 --> 01:26:32,152
A much more serious approach.

2192
01:26:32,219 --> 01:26:34,152
And I want to start off

2193
01:26:34,219 --> 01:26:35,652
with my very special guest,

2194
01:26:35,719 --> 01:26:36,919
Governor Floyd Preston.

2195
01:26:36,986 --> 01:26:40,319
[<i>Dixie</i> plays]

2196
01:26:40,386 --> 01:26:42,419
Ah, Governor, it's great
to finally have you

2197
01:26:42,485 --> 01:26:43,652
on my show, you know?

2198
01:26:43,719 --> 01:26:46,453
At least you didn't have
to travel too far to get here.

2199
01:26:46,518 --> 01:26:47,485
That's true.

2200
01:26:47,552 --> 01:26:49,186
Although the traffic
was a little rough

2201
01:26:49,252 --> 01:26:51,119
coming through the kitchen.

2202
01:26:51,186 --> 01:26:53,086
[Whispers]
Priscilla, listen, we need to talk.

2203
01:26:53,152 --> 01:26:54,585
OK, you don't understand.

2204
01:26:54,652 --> 01:26:56,086
You lied to me.

2205
01:26:56,152 --> 01:26:58,319
I should tell my father
and stop this show.

2206
01:26:58,386 --> 01:26:59,685
Uh, Mr. Sparks,

2207
01:26:59,752 --> 01:27:02,186
I'd like to say a few words.

2208
01:27:02,252 --> 01:27:04,152
Miller:
Stop the show!

2209
01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:06,719
He's a fake! He's a phony!

2210
01:27:06,785 --> 01:27:08,453
He's a charlatan!

2211
01:27:08,518 --> 01:27:09,719
Get your hands off me!

2212
01:27:09,785 --> 01:27:10,785
You don't understand!

2213
01:27:10,852 --> 01:27:12,019
Listen to me!

2214
01:27:12,086 --> 01:27:14,353
I'm a very important person!

2215
01:27:14,419 --> 01:27:15,952
[Whispering]
Stretch. Stretch it out.

2216
01:27:16,019 --> 01:27:18,353
Uh, one of the Governor's
opponents.

2217
01:27:18,419 --> 01:27:20,386
They'll stoop to anything
to try and stop him.

2218
01:27:20,453 --> 01:27:22,386
Like calling him a phony, a fake.

2219
01:27:22,453 --> 01:27:24,353
They even claim he dyes his hair.

2220
01:27:24,419 --> 01:27:26,986
Lies! I've taken a shower
with the Governor,

2221
01:27:27,052 --> 01:27:28,919
and believe me, that's
his natural hair color.

2222
01:27:28,986 --> 01:27:30,719
And by the way, Governor,

2223
01:27:30,785 --> 01:27:34,219
you're quite a guy,
if you know what I mean.

2224
01:27:34,286 --> 01:27:36,386
Why, he could enter
a 3-legged race by himself.

2225
01:27:36,453 --> 01:27:39,818
Why do you think his wife
is always smiling?

2226
01:27:40,985 --> 01:27:42,251
Wally:
So, folks,

2227
01:27:42,318 --> 01:27:44,051
vote for Governor Floyd Preston.

2228
01:27:44,118 --> 01:27:45,318
Think big.

2229
01:27:45,385 --> 01:27:46,318
Mr. Sparks.

2230
01:27:46,385 --> 01:27:48,218
There's something very important--

2231
01:27:48,285 --> 01:27:50,085
Hold that thought for one moment,
OK?

2232
01:27:50,151 --> 01:27:52,051
'Cause right now
I'd like to bring on

2233
01:27:52,118 --> 01:27:53,385
a special mystery guest

2234
01:27:53,452 --> 01:27:56,617
who's about to become
the most important person

2235
01:27:56,684 --> 01:27:57,684
in your life.

2236
01:27:57,751 --> 01:27:58,851
Ladies and gentlemen,

2237
01:27:58,918 --> 01:28:01,584
Governor Preston was
just about to announce

2238
01:28:01,651 --> 01:28:03,784
he's going to back out
of the election...

2239
01:28:03,851 --> 01:28:04,951
Oh, no.

2240
01:28:05,018 --> 01:28:06,452
Because he's mixed up

2241
01:28:06,517 --> 01:28:09,085
in a disgusting sex scandal.

2242
01:28:09,151 --> 01:28:10,218
Oh.

2243
01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:11,218
[Gasps]

2244
01:28:11,285 --> 01:28:12,251
And here she is

2245
01:28:12,318 --> 01:28:14,051
to tell her side of the story.

2246
01:28:14,118 --> 01:28:17,918
The woman in question--
Lola Larue!

2247
01:28:17,985 --> 01:28:21,651
[Jazzy music plays]

2248
01:28:25,418 --> 01:28:26,385
All right, Lola.

2249
01:28:26,452 --> 01:28:28,784
Now you go ahead and tell our viewers

2250
01:28:28,851 --> 01:28:30,385
the same incredible story
you told me.

2251
01:28:30,452 --> 01:28:33,884
Well, I first met Governor Preston

2252
01:28:33,951 --> 01:28:36,385
in Savannah at a campaign rally.

2253
01:28:36,452 --> 01:28:37,985
And that night,

2254
01:28:38,051 --> 01:28:40,718
he got me drunk and
sexually molested me

2255
01:28:40,784 --> 01:28:42,318
at the fuzzy peach motel.

2256
01:28:42,385 --> 01:28:44,318
Governor, what did I tell you,
huh?

2257
01:28:44,385 --> 01:28:45,651
Hey, wait a minute.

2258
01:28:45,718 --> 01:28:46,985
That's a lie!

2259
01:28:47,050 --> 01:28:49,417
Emily, I've never seen
this woman before

2260
01:28:49,483 --> 01:28:50,616
in my life.

2261
01:28:50,683 --> 01:28:51,750
She's blackmailing me!

2262
01:28:51,817 --> 01:28:53,150
Governor:
Baby doll, wait!

2263
01:28:53,217 --> 01:28:54,783
If you had sex with the Governor,

2264
01:28:54,850 --> 01:28:56,284
you saw him naked, right?

2265
01:28:56,351 --> 01:28:57,284
Totally.

2266
01:28:57,351 --> 01:28:58,950
Completely.

2267
01:28:59,017 --> 01:29:00,451
Buck.

2268
01:29:00,516 --> 01:29:02,084
Wally:
Well, tell me this--

2269
01:29:02,150 --> 01:29:04,050
Does the Governor have
any distinguishing marks

2270
01:29:04,117 --> 01:29:05,850
on his body?

2271
01:29:05,917 --> 01:29:07,017
A birthmark

2272
01:29:07,084 --> 01:29:08,616
shaped like
the State of Florida

2273
01:29:08,683 --> 01:29:10,417
on his left butt cheek.

2274
01:29:10,483 --> 01:29:12,917
Ho ho, really?
Ha ha ha ha.

2275
01:29:16,217 --> 01:29:18,650
OK, lucky guess.

2276
01:29:18,717 --> 01:29:20,817
Show 'em.

2277
01:29:20,883 --> 01:29:22,317
Go on, Governor.

2278
01:29:22,384 --> 01:29:23,850
Show 'em.

2279
01:29:23,917 --> 01:29:24,984
[Muttering]

2280
01:29:25,050 --> 01:29:26,317
[Whispering] Cut.
We're going to commercial.

2281
01:29:26,384 --> 01:29:27,817
You're an idiot!

2282
01:29:27,883 --> 01:29:28,817
Stay tuned, folks...

2283
01:29:28,883 --> 01:29:30,451
You're stupid!

2284
01:29:30,516 --> 01:29:32,451
That does it!

2285
01:29:32,550 --> 01:29:34,117
Director:
And we're clear.

2286
01:29:34,184 --> 01:29:35,850
Crowd, settle, settle, settle.

2287
01:29:35,917 --> 01:29:36,850
Come on.

2288
01:29:36,917 --> 01:29:37,850
Floor manager:
Makeup!

2289
01:29:37,917 --> 01:29:39,084
Director:
All right, guys,

2290
01:29:39,150 --> 01:29:41,050
we need the makeup man
to get rid of the shine.

2291
01:29:41,117 --> 01:29:43,451
Governor:
I can overlook taking over the bedroom

2292
01:29:43,516 --> 01:29:45,550
and this camera crew and the dog food!

2293
01:29:45,616 --> 01:29:47,550
But how could you do this to me?!

2294
01:29:47,616 --> 01:29:49,417
I was just trying to help you.

2295
01:29:49,483 --> 01:29:51,351
Help me? You're burying me out there!

2296
01:29:51,417 --> 01:29:52,683
Aw, come back on.

2297
01:29:52,750 --> 01:29:54,351
I promise I'll fix everything.

2298
01:29:54,417 --> 01:29:56,416
Excuse me, 90 seconds,
and we're back on the air.

2299
01:29:56,482 --> 01:29:58,283
No. No way I'm going
back out there.

2300
01:29:58,350 --> 01:30:00,016
You got to come back on.

2301
01:30:00,083 --> 01:30:02,350
If you don't, you'll look
worse than you look now.

2302
01:30:02,416 --> 01:30:03,849
Harvey, help me, help me.

2303
01:30:03,916 --> 01:30:05,116
What shall I do?

2304
01:30:05,183 --> 01:30:07,283
Well, I think you should--

2305
01:30:07,350 --> 01:30:09,183
I don't know.

2306
01:30:09,249 --> 01:30:10,882
[Crying]

2307
01:30:10,949 --> 01:30:12,249
We'll miss--

2308
01:30:12,316 --> 01:30:14,249
Floyd, are you all right?

2309
01:30:15,383 --> 01:30:16,882
I'm ruined.

2310
01:30:16,949 --> 01:30:18,849
Emily thinks I betrayed her.

2311
01:30:18,916 --> 01:30:20,416
It's all Sparks' fault.

2312
01:30:20,482 --> 01:30:21,882
Governor, you got to listen to me.

2313
01:30:21,949 --> 01:30:23,016
Trust me, will you?

2314
01:30:23,083 --> 01:30:24,016
Trust you?

2315
01:30:24,083 --> 01:30:25,383
Trust you?! I--

2316
01:30:25,450 --> 01:30:27,882
Now, now, don't worry, Floyd.

2317
01:30:27,949 --> 01:30:30,816
I'll see that he hangs for this.

2318
01:30:30,882 --> 01:30:33,882
OK, 60 seconds.
It's now or never.

2319
01:30:33,949 --> 01:30:35,383
All right, Governor,

2320
01:30:35,450 --> 01:30:37,849
what's it going to be?

2321
01:30:37,916 --> 01:30:40,183
Leave me alone.

2322
01:30:56,816 --> 01:30:58,183
I'm done.

2323
01:30:58,249 --> 01:30:59,849
Let's go. Come on.

2324
01:31:15,349 --> 01:31:16,681
Dad?

2325
01:31:32,514 --> 01:31:36,048
Daddy... this is all my fault.

2326
01:31:37,514 --> 01:31:40,781
Son, you didn't do anything.

2327
01:31:40,848 --> 01:31:42,215
Yes, I did.

2328
01:31:45,015 --> 01:31:47,415
I sent the invitation to Wally.

2329
01:31:51,382 --> 01:31:53,148
I did it...

2330
01:31:53,215 --> 01:31:57,315
because I wanted
to get even with you.

2331
01:31:57,382 --> 01:31:59,982
I wanted you to stop
being the Governor

2332
01:32:00,048 --> 01:32:03,915
and just go back to being
my dad like you used to.

2333
01:32:09,881 --> 01:32:10,747
Robert...

2334
01:32:12,714 --> 01:32:14,981
I'm not gonna call you Robby anymore,

2335
01:32:15,047 --> 01:32:17,580
'cause that's a little boy's name.

2336
01:32:17,647 --> 01:32:19,680
You're a young man now.

2337
01:32:19,747 --> 01:32:21,547
It took a lot of courage

2338
01:32:21,613 --> 01:32:24,014
to just say what you did.

2339
01:32:24,081 --> 01:32:26,448
I'll tell you something.

2340
01:32:28,414 --> 01:32:31,281
Being your daddy's
the best job I ever had.

2341
01:32:31,348 --> 01:32:34,114
And thank you for reminding me...

2342
01:32:34,181 --> 01:32:37,780
it's also the most important one.

2343
01:32:42,414 --> 01:32:43,448
Daddy...

2344
01:32:49,281 --> 01:32:51,747
Folks, the first half of the show

2345
01:32:51,814 --> 01:32:53,047
has been pretty amazing,

2346
01:32:53,114 --> 01:32:56,381
and the second half is no different.

2347
01:32:56,448 --> 01:32:58,480
And I'm gonna start the second half...

2348
01:32:59,780 --> 01:33:00,981
by telling you...

2349
01:33:04,114 --> 01:33:06,047
I can walk.

2350
01:33:06,114 --> 01:33:08,547
I've been faking it...

2351
01:33:08,613 --> 01:33:10,714
pretending I was hurt...

2352
01:33:10,780 --> 01:33:13,647
for my own selfish reasons.

2353
01:33:15,247 --> 01:33:18,046
You know, this may be my last show.

2354
01:33:18,113 --> 01:33:21,213
A lot of people think
I shouldn't be on TV anymore.

2355
01:33:21,280 --> 01:33:22,713
Maybe they're right.

2356
01:33:22,779 --> 01:33:25,013
I'm only sorry for all
the pain and suffering

2357
01:33:25,080 --> 01:33:26,579
I caused the Governor,

2358
01:33:26,646 --> 01:33:29,746
and how I hurt this sweet,
innocent girl.

2359
01:33:29,813 --> 01:33:31,913
Look at that virgin smile.

2360
01:33:31,980 --> 01:33:33,913
A babe lost in the woods.

2361
01:33:33,980 --> 01:33:36,579
And you wanted to be an actress,
didn't you?

2362
01:33:36,646 --> 01:33:38,146
That's right.
Disney movies.

2363
01:33:38,213 --> 01:33:40,380
Oh, I'm sure you'd
be right at home

2364
01:33:40,447 --> 01:33:41,413
with Pinocchio.

2365
01:33:41,479 --> 01:33:42,413
[Slide whistle]

2366
01:33:42,479 --> 01:33:44,080
Well, tonight, you're in luck,
honey.

2367
01:33:44,146 --> 01:33:46,579
It so happens we have
a clip of your acting debut.

2368
01:33:46,646 --> 01:33:47,646
Roll it, Sandy.

2369
01:33:47,713 --> 01:33:48,646
Go.

2370
01:33:48,713 --> 01:33:50,579
G-aah! Ohh...

2371
01:33:50,646 --> 01:33:54,246
Ho! Where'd you study acting,
honey, down under?

2372
01:33:54,313 --> 01:33:56,913
She gives a new meaning
to method acting.

2373
01:34:00,612 --> 01:34:01,879
Hey, with this role,

2374
01:34:01,946 --> 01:34:04,280
your acting career
really got a head start.

2375
01:34:04,347 --> 01:34:05,946
But wait, folks, there's more.

2376
01:34:06,013 --> 01:34:08,612
TV:
I never had sex with the Governor.

2377
01:34:08,679 --> 01:34:10,280
He was set up.

2378
01:34:10,347 --> 01:34:12,447
They slipped him a Mickey,

2379
01:34:12,512 --> 01:34:14,447
and while he was unconscious,

2380
01:34:14,512 --> 01:34:16,113
I took off my clothes,

2381
01:34:16,180 --> 01:34:19,213
and I posed for those
pictures with him.

2382
01:34:19,280 --> 01:34:21,447
Well, thanks to my producer Sandy,

2383
01:34:21,512 --> 01:34:23,080
and a hidden video camera,

2384
01:34:23,146 --> 01:34:26,279
we happened to get this
little performance on tape.

2385
01:34:26,346 --> 01:34:28,678
But wait...
there's even more.

2386
01:34:31,145 --> 01:34:33,645
You see, Julius,
what Lola doesn't know is,

2387
01:34:33,712 --> 01:34:35,645
we followed her into the woods,

2388
01:34:35,712 --> 01:34:37,478
where she had a rendezvous

2389
01:34:37,545 --> 01:34:40,678
with the big bad wolf himself!

2390
01:34:40,745 --> 01:34:42,812
[Swelling music]

2391
01:34:46,678 --> 01:34:50,611
Wally:
I guess whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.

2392
01:34:50,678 --> 01:34:52,645
Judge Williams!

2393
01:34:52,712 --> 01:34:54,012
Randal!

2394
01:34:54,079 --> 01:34:56,979
Wow! Looks like the judge
is banging more than his gavel.

2395
01:34:57,045 --> 01:34:58,812
This is absurd!
I don't know this tramp!

2396
01:34:58,878 --> 01:35:01,112
Tramp?
Screw you, Randy!

2397
01:35:01,179 --> 01:35:03,179
I ain't takin' the rap
for this on my own!

2398
01:35:03,245 --> 01:35:05,145
He knew if Governor Preston
got into the senate,

2399
01:35:05,212 --> 01:35:07,511
he'd prevent the development
of the Civil War Theme park.

2400
01:35:07,578 --> 01:35:09,112
She's insane!
Don't listen to her!

2401
01:35:09,179 --> 01:35:11,845
Judge here sunk all of his money
into the surrounding property.

2402
01:35:11,912 --> 01:35:13,511
Said it was worth a fortune.

2403
01:35:13,578 --> 01:35:15,845
You said you were
gonna share it with me!

2404
01:35:15,912 --> 01:35:16,979
Oh, go away, Lola!

2405
01:35:17,045 --> 01:35:19,312
Ooh!
Looks like she misjudged the judge!

2406
01:35:19,379 --> 01:35:21,712
I'm gonna fix you, Sparks!

2407
01:35:21,778 --> 01:35:23,379
Charge!

2408
01:35:23,446 --> 01:35:24,511
Hey, get your own!

2409
01:35:24,578 --> 01:35:26,145
Just a slice.

2410
01:35:26,212 --> 01:35:27,678
Wally:
Everybody, head for the hills!

2411
01:35:27,745 --> 01:35:29,012
Oh! Get the camera!

2412
01:35:30,412 --> 01:35:32,245
What's wrong?

2413
01:35:32,312 --> 01:35:33,811
Hey, get out of the way!

2414
01:35:33,877 --> 01:35:35,978
Williams:
Prepare to die.

2415
01:35:36,044 --> 01:35:37,378
Keep moving, Wally!

2416
01:35:37,445 --> 01:35:39,178
Tighter.
Get a 2-shot!

2417
01:35:39,244 --> 01:35:40,744
Aah! Ooh! Ooh!

2418
01:35:40,811 --> 01:35:43,378
Dad! Whoa!

2419
01:35:43,445 --> 01:35:44,877
En garde!

2420
01:35:44,944 --> 01:35:47,078
Whoo!

2421
01:35:47,144 --> 01:35:48,711
Aah!

2422
01:35:50,978 --> 01:35:52,877
Oh, come on!
Pan out!

2423
01:35:52,944 --> 01:35:54,777
Judge, can't we talk it over?

2424
01:35:54,844 --> 01:35:57,044
Whoa! I see your point.

2425
01:35:57,111 --> 01:35:58,944
Get the wheelchair!
Put the camera in it! Go on.

2426
01:36:04,411 --> 01:36:06,144
Fresh-cut flowers!
Ooh!

2427
01:36:12,644 --> 01:36:13,510
Ohhh!

2428
01:36:17,610 --> 01:36:18,911
Busybody!

2429
01:36:18,978 --> 01:36:20,544
Know-it-all yankee!

2430
01:36:20,610 --> 01:36:22,078
Take it easy, judge!

2431
01:36:22,144 --> 01:36:23,944
Look out!
He's nuts!

2432
01:36:30,510 --> 01:36:33,078
Preston:
Randal, that is a priceless antique!

2433
01:36:33,144 --> 01:36:34,278
Oh, my gracious!

2434
01:36:34,345 --> 01:36:35,278
Aah!
Aah!

2435
01:36:37,211 --> 01:36:39,211
Ow!
Ooh!

2436
01:36:39,278 --> 01:36:40,345
Oh!
Aah!

2437
01:36:43,010 --> 01:36:44,609
Aha!

2438
01:36:46,676 --> 01:36:47,977
Are you all right, son?

2439
01:36:48,043 --> 01:36:49,444
Sandy:
Alec, get the camera upstairs!

2440
01:36:55,010 --> 01:36:56,344
Haa! Haa!

2441
01:36:56,410 --> 01:36:59,609
I had tuna fish for lunch!

2442
01:36:59,676 --> 01:37:01,177
Watch out!

2443
01:37:01,243 --> 01:37:03,310
She's got a gun!

2444
01:37:03,377 --> 01:37:06,444
Stay back!
I'm warning you!

2445
01:37:06,509 --> 01:37:08,010
Robert, call 911.

2446
01:37:08,077 --> 01:37:10,743
You! Come here!

2447
01:37:10,810 --> 01:37:12,077
Oh, dear, you don't--

2448
01:37:12,143 --> 01:37:13,444
Nobody try to stop me!

2449
01:37:18,310 --> 01:37:21,143
Hey, somebody, get me a lei!

2450
01:37:21,210 --> 01:37:22,810
I know I'm a kid.
I'm not joking!

2451
01:37:22,876 --> 01:37:23,810
I'm taking her with me.

2452
01:37:23,876 --> 01:37:25,676
Don't even think about it.

2453
01:37:28,676 --> 01:37:29,643
Ho! Quick, get in there!

2454
01:37:29,710 --> 01:37:30,643
Get a closeup!

2455
01:37:30,710 --> 01:37:32,344
It's my gun!

2456
01:37:35,609 --> 01:37:37,676
Ooh! He got me right in the touché!

2457
01:37:38,876 --> 01:37:40,043
Aah!

2458
01:37:40,110 --> 01:37:41,344
Look!

2459
01:37:41,410 --> 01:37:43,043
Take that!

2460
01:37:43,110 --> 01:37:44,310
I got it!

2461
01:37:50,942 --> 01:37:52,076
Ha ha!

2462
01:37:53,443 --> 01:37:55,642
Ho ho!

2463
01:37:55,709 --> 01:38:00,242
[Gunshots]

2464
01:38:00,309 --> 01:38:02,042
Hit the deck!

2465
01:38:02,109 --> 01:38:03,542
Joey!

2466
01:38:05,909 --> 01:38:07,475
Ohh!

2467
01:38:07,542 --> 01:38:08,508
Get off me!

2468
01:38:08,575 --> 01:38:10,343
Whoa-- Ohh!

2469
01:38:10,409 --> 01:38:11,542
Hiyaah!

2470
01:38:11,608 --> 01:38:14,542
I just got circumcised by benihana!
Ooh!

2471
01:38:18,608 --> 01:38:21,343
Don't think I won't use this.

2472
01:38:21,409 --> 01:38:23,176
Get back, or I'll blow
your brains out.

2473
01:38:23,242 --> 01:38:24,709
Don't be a hero, Governor!

2474
01:38:26,242 --> 01:38:28,775
Wally:
Hey! No fair!

2475
01:38:28,842 --> 01:38:29,775
Oh, no!

2476
01:38:29,842 --> 01:38:31,042
Heh heh heh...

2477
01:38:31,109 --> 01:38:32,042
Ha!

2478
01:38:32,109 --> 01:38:33,309
Adios, judge.

2479
01:38:34,475 --> 01:38:38,409
Aaaah! Get me a ball-buster!

2480
01:38:41,309 --> 01:38:45,042
Hey, now, don't say we never
played catch, all right?

2481
01:38:45,109 --> 01:38:47,443
Hey! Excuse me!
I've got the gun.

2482
01:38:47,508 --> 01:38:49,942
I need some wheels.

2483
01:38:50,009 --> 01:38:52,042
Governor, give me your car keys,
now!

2484
01:38:52,109 --> 01:38:53,875
Chaaaarge!

2485
01:38:53,942 --> 01:38:56,774
Aaaaah!

2486
01:38:56,841 --> 01:38:58,874
Here comes the judge!

2487
01:38:58,941 --> 01:39:00,607
He got the chair!

2488
01:39:00,674 --> 01:39:02,874
Huh? Huh?

2489
01:39:02,941 --> 01:39:03,975
Aaaaaah!

2490
01:39:04,041 --> 01:39:06,008
Aaaaah!

2491
01:39:07,141 --> 01:39:08,342
Case closed.

2492
01:39:09,808 --> 01:39:10,741
That's our show, folks.

2493
01:39:10,808 --> 01:39:12,574
See you next week back in New York.

2494
01:39:12,641 --> 01:39:14,574
And remember, it's lonely at the top

2495
01:39:14,641 --> 01:39:16,574
when there's no one on the bottom.

2496
01:39:16,641 --> 01:39:17,908
See you next week, huh?

2497
01:39:17,975 --> 01:39:19,408
Dad, all right!
I'm proud of you.

2498
01:39:19,474 --> 01:39:20,908
Maybe you should grow a beard.

2499
01:39:20,975 --> 01:39:22,574
You looked pretty good the other night.

2500
01:39:22,641 --> 01:39:23,641
Can I cut in?

2501
01:39:23,708 --> 01:39:26,075
Oh! This show is an Emmy for sure!

2502
01:39:26,141 --> 01:39:28,908
Oh, thanks to you,
the polls are gonna be great!

2503
01:39:28,975 --> 01:39:30,908
Oh, I'm so glad to hear that.

2504
01:39:30,975 --> 01:39:32,841
They really are lovely people.

2505
01:39:35,674 --> 01:39:37,108
I was right.

2506
01:39:37,175 --> 01:39:38,941
Wally Sparks is a genius.

2507
01:39:39,008 --> 01:39:41,442
Miller's right.
I'm a programming genius.

2508
01:39:41,507 --> 01:39:42,442
Give me Miller.

2509
01:39:42,507 --> 01:39:44,275
He's not in his office, sir,

2510
01:39:44,342 --> 01:39:45,941
and he hasn't been there all week.

2511
01:39:46,008 --> 01:39:47,141
Where the hell is he?

2512
01:39:47,208 --> 01:39:50,075
[Muffled cries]

2513
01:39:50,141 --> 01:39:51,541
[Chittering]

2514
01:39:56,342 --> 01:39:57,841
Mmphh!

2515
01:39:57,908 --> 01:40:00,442
[Boing]

2516
01:40:00,507 --> 01:40:03,375
[Pleasurable moaning]

2517
01:40:14,506 --> 01:40:16,473
[Applause]

2518
01:40:16,540 --> 01:40:17,807
Ladies and gentlemen,

2519
01:40:17,873 --> 01:40:20,506
I'd like to propose a toast,
if I may,

2520
01:40:20,573 --> 01:40:21,974
to the bride and groom.

2521
01:40:22,040 --> 01:40:25,140
Dean, Priscilla...

2522
01:40:25,207 --> 01:40:26,773
may your love be everlasting.

2523
01:40:26,840 --> 01:40:28,606
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!

2524
01:40:28,673 --> 01:40:32,307
Ah, love, it makes the world go 'round!

2525
01:40:32,374 --> 01:40:33,974
Oh, you're wrong, Emily.

2526
01:40:34,040 --> 01:40:36,974
It makes it go up and down.

2527
01:40:37,040 --> 01:40:38,640
Here's to you, Governor--

2528
01:40:38,707 --> 01:40:40,473
Or should I say Senator?

2529
01:40:40,540 --> 01:40:42,174
Yes, I think you should.

2530
01:40:42,240 --> 01:40:45,506
And I should say that
I owe it all to you, Wally,

2531
01:40:45,573 --> 01:40:46,840
and to Robert.

2532
01:40:46,907 --> 01:40:49,174
Too bad judge Williams isn't here.

2533
01:40:49,240 --> 01:40:51,974
Hah. You'll see him
in about 10 to 20 years.

2534
01:40:52,040 --> 01:40:53,307
I'm sure when he comes out,

2535
01:40:53,374 --> 01:40:54,707
he'll feel like a new woman.

2536
01:40:56,074 --> 01:40:58,840
Hey, what do you say we all get naked

2537
01:40:58,907 --> 01:41:01,506
and see who the best man is?

2538
01:41:01,573 --> 01:41:04,673
Hey, I'm betting on you, Governor.

2539
01:41:04,740 --> 01:41:05,673
Senator.

2540
01:41:05,740 --> 01:41:07,307
[Band plays tango]

2541
01:41:07,374 --> 01:41:09,673
Emily, baby,
they're playing our song!

2542
01:41:09,740 --> 01:41:10,873
Oh, no!

2543
01:41:29,772 --> 01:41:31,806
Hoo-ah!

2544
01:41:33,440 --> 01:41:36,706
Ho ho!
Ooh, Wally!

2545
01:42:28,705 --> 01:42:30,771
Hey, thank you, everybody.

2546
01:42:30,838 --> 01:42:33,439
On today's show,
you're gonna meet a man

2547
01:42:33,504 --> 01:42:36,538
who has fallen in love...
with a squirrel.

2548
01:42:40,005 --> 01:42:43,805
[Giggles]

2549
01:42:43,871 --> 01:42:45,972
Well, there you have it...

2550
01:42:46,038 --> 01:42:47,771
Alan Miller and... Acorn.

2551
01:42:47,838 --> 01:42:49,105
[Chitters]
Yes!

2552
01:42:49,172 --> 01:42:50,705
Pretty nice couple, I'd say.

2553
01:42:50,771 --> 01:42:51,638
Yes.

2554
01:43:08,705 --> 01:43:12,138
[Devo performs <i>Communication Breakup</i>]